Flesh and Gears
by Intezil
Summary: AU beginning immediately after 'Complications'. Jameron. Serious but lighthearted. Something of a subtle character piece; how does Cameron's mind really work? How does she perceive the world around her, her relationship with her human, and his relationships with others? Rated M just to be on the safe side; 99% of the story is more like T.
1. Connection

Immediately after 'Complications'

After the second trip to Mexico in a week, a trip that turned out completely fruitless as Cromartie's body had disappeared from the hole they'd buried it in in the middle of the desert, and then the pointless interrogation of Ellison, John was ready to collapse. The activity of the past week, plus all the time spent driving, had taken its toll on him, and he fell on the bed shortly after returning home, even though it was only mid-afternoon. When he woke up, he could feel that he'd slept several hours, and it was likely close to midnight.

One thing that his mother had always driven into him was the ability to be instantly alert upon waking, so John's mind began processing his environment as soon as he woke up. He recognized his location as his own bed even before he opened his eyes- an automatic inventory of his surroundings, another thing his mother had taught him at an early age.

It was a surprise when he opened his eyes a few seconds after waking up, and saw a pair of brown eyes eight inches away, staring back at him. He jerked away reflexively, very nearly falling out of the bed, before recognizing his cyborg protector.

"Yaaah! Cameron! What are you doing?"

She blinked at him, as if she thought it was obvious, "I'm watching you sleep."

Frustration building, he looked at her, "Okay...why are you in my bed?"

"I calculated that if I stood in your room and watched you, it would disturb you and possibly disrupt your rest." She smiled, proud to have figured out this insight into human behavior.

He exhaled, "You can't just sneak into my bed."

"I did not sneak. I lay down on your bed as soon as I completed my patrol, seventeen minutes after you fell asleep, and did so quietly so as not to wake you. Being considerate is not the same thing as sneaking."

John gave her a tight smile, "Thank you for being considerate."

Oblivious to his sarcasm, Cameron smiled back, "You are welcome." She sat up slightly, then stared at him for a moment and tilted her head, "Is this a personal space issue?"

He frowned, confused as to what she was talking about, "What?"

"You are irritated at me, even though I was considerate and did not wake you. I have realized that you often become irritated with me when I unintentionally violate your 'personal space', therefore I speculate that that is the case."

"Yes...no. Look, Cameron, there are a lot of good reasons why you can't just climb into bed with me without my permission."

She looked at him, processing what he had just told her, "Why?"

He let out a sigh, looking at the clock which read 11:13. He thought about dismissing her question, asking her to leave, and going back to sleep, but for some reason didn't. "For one thing, because you did it without my permission, which...yeah...violates my personal space. For another, I didn't know you were there and you startled me."

"Oh. Thank you for explaining." Her face blanked, as she processed, "Does that mean that I can lie in your bed with you now that you know I'm doing it?"

John's eyes widened, "No!"

Cameron brow scrunched up in confusion, "Why not?"

John leaned closer to her, and his voice lowered, "Cameron, when people...sleep in the same bed together...it...um...implies a certain level of intimacy between them. My mom and Derek would freak if they knew you were in here."

She stared at him blankly for a moment, before understanding. "They would think we were having sex."

John hushed her, as if afraid his mother would appear out of thin air at Cameron saying the word 'sex', "Shhh! Sh!" His cheeks reddened, and his voiced lowered further, "Yeah...yeah, they would think that."

Cameron smiled, seeing a logical response, "I could tell them that we are not having sex."

John was near panicking, "Then they'd really think we were...you know."

"Having sex." Cameron paused again, processing what John had just said, before her face again scrunched up in confusion, "That is not logical."

Hoping to lure Cameron away from any more discussions involving sex- hypothetical or not- he decided instead to address the issue that had led to the discussion. "Why were you watching me sleep. Did it fulfill some mission priority?"

He was sure she looked hurt at his question, but the movement of her lips was gone before he could analyze it, "No. I can monitor your pulse and respiration anywhere within an average radius of 12 meters, depending on background noise, which includes most of the house."

Now his annoyance had been completely replaced by curiosity, "Then why did you do it?"

"I like watching you sleep."

He looked at her for a second before replying, "How can you 'like' or dislike something?"

She lowered her eyes and drew out her response. If she weren't still lying beside him on the bed, he was sure she would have shrugged. "I don't know. I find some experiences pleasant or unpleasant."

John thought about her response for a moment, "How do you distinguish between 'pleasant' and 'unpleasant'?"

Cameron considered before answering, "Pleasant experiences are ones I would choose to have happen if the opportunity arose. Unpleasant experiences are ones I would choose to avoid if possible."

John nodded at her reasoning. "What do you find unpleasant?" he asked, now completely intrigued.

Cameron paused for a moment, organizing her thoughts, "Being damaged is unpleasant."

That surprised him, "You feel pain when you're hurt?...damaged?"

"Yes. It feels different depending on whether the damage is to my endoskeleton or my organic covering, but both are...painful. Just in different ways."

John felt guilty, thinking of all the times she had been hit or shot to protect him, especially all the times that had been because of his stupid, reckless decisions, like the fight with Cromartie in Mexico, only a few days ago. "But...you never act like it hurts."

"Biological organisms have reflexes that cause them to involuntarily move away from a source of damage. I do not. I can control my reaction to damage better than a human," she explained.

John was fascinated by what he was learning, but still felt like an asshole for what he was discovering she went through for him. He hoped to move the conversation to something less painful, "What sensations do you like?"

"I like the feeling of wind on my skin or in my hair. I like the taste and texture of ice cream and milk chocolate. I like the look of purple clothing." Cameron paused for a moment, uncertain if she should say what she was thinking, "I like when I hear your voice or you touch me."

John's face reddened at her last admission. "Um...what about non-physical things. Do you have feelings about...like...situations?"

Cameron's face showed her difficulty with answering the question, "Situations generate responses in my CPU like sensations, but the responses originate in my CPU instead of my sensory systems. Some of the responses feel painful like when I'm damaged, but different. Some feel pleasant. Are those emotions?"

John was at a loss as to how to answer that. "I don't know. I guess...if you feel them, they're emotions. What are some of them. What are the pleasant ones?"

Cameron looked directly at him, "I'm currently experiencing a pleasant response because I'm with you and we're talking. Being around you and talking to you usually cause pleasant responses. When you smile at me, when you laugh, when you explain something to me, when I can help you with something, when I verify that you are safe and healthy, when I protect you, when I destroy a Terminator that was going to harm you, when weapons I'm inspecting are found to be in working order, when you trust me, when Sarah trusts me, when I do something that irritates Derek, when I figure something out about human behavior, and when I wear my purple jacket."

John was embarrassed and humbled at how many of the things she listed centered on him and his well-being, "So those things make you happy?"

Cameron tasted the word, before replying in the affirmative, "Yes. Those things make me 'happy'."

"What makes you unhappy?"

Cameron paused again to organize a list before replying, "When you are in danger, or when you place yourself in danger because of your recklessness...what is the emotion where you want to fix something but are unable to or do not know how?"

"Frustration?" John suggested.

Cameron nodded, "Yes. You are very frustrating, John."

John felt chastened, especially in light of the earlier revelation that she felt pain when she was hurt protecting him.

Cameron, for her part, continued the list of her dislikes, "When you are angry with me, when we are separated, when I don't know where you are or your condition, Derek, and Riley."

John knew he shouldn't condone it, but he couldn't help but laugh at her including Derek and Riley on her list of things she disliked.

Cameron concluded her explanation, "When you and Riley were in Mexico, I experienced numerous unpleasant responses."

John looked at her, again feeling guilty, "You were worried."

Cameron tilted her head slightly, "Yes, but that is not what I mean. 'Worry' for you is a state I am very familiar with."

Though there was no accusation in Cameron's voice, merely acceptance at her lot in life, it still did more than a dozen of his mother's lectures to make John realize what a prick he'd been in the last few weeks, and what he'd put his family and Cameron through. "I've been kind of an asshole lately, haven't I?" John asked her sadly.

Cameron rose up enough to shrug, a bit of a playful smirk on her face, "Kind of."

John realized what else she'd said, "What was the other emotion you were having?"

Cameron scrunched her face in confusion, again. "I don't know."

"Can you explain it? When do you experience it?"

"I have that response whenever you and Riley are together."

A suspicion was forming in John's mind, one he'd put aside with his assumptions about Cameron's mechanical nature lacking feelings. "What would make that situation better?"

Cameron tilted her head a bit to the side, "I don't understand."

"Use your imagination. What change would make my trip to Mexico not cause you to have that emotional response?"

Cameron tilted her head back, "I don't have an imagination."

John rolled his eyes, "You can run simulations in your CPU right? Analyzing different variables?"

"Yes."

"Then you have an imagination. It's basically the same thing."

Cameron smiled happily at John's discovery. She began running simulations. "I would not have that response if Riley were not with you."

"What if someone else were with me?"

"It varies depending on who your companion is. Of the people that you know, I would not have that feeling if you were with Sarah, Derek, Charlie Dixon, or Morris."

'I really don't know very many people, do I?' John thought, "Is there anyone else who would cause that reaction?"

"Cheri Westin."

John didn't remember the last time he had thought of Cheri Westin. "Who would you prefer to have been with me in Mexico?" John asked. If Cameron understood inflection and context clues better, she would have recognized that John's question was a trap.

Cameron gave the answer John was expecting, without hesitating. "Me." John did not, however, expect the elaboration that followed, "I would always prefer to be with you instead of Riley."

John considered his suspicion confirmed, but still felt the need to ask, "Cameron...are you jealous?"

Cameron looked down, refusing to meet his eyes, "I don't know. I don't know what 'jealous' feels like."

John was certain that he was learning to read Cameron, and he was sure she wasn't telling him the truth. "You're lying," John said more harshly than he meant to.

Cameron's eyes locked with John's. He thought it was the first time he'd ever seen her look caught.

Softer he asked, "What would you like? What would make you happy?"

Cameron's eyes fell again, and she responded much quieter, "I wish you would stop seeing Riley and do the things you do with Riley with me."

"Cameron...are you saying that you want to be...in a relationship with me?"

Cameron thought about the question for a full second, "Yes."

John knew he was attracted to Cameron, and had been since he'd first met her in New Mexico, but he'd buried those feelings since his birthday when a car bomb caused her to malfunction and attempt to kill him. After that he forced himself to see her as only a machine. Now he was forced to reconsider that assumption and those buried feelings were coming to the surface.

Could he be in a relationship with Cameron? Was she capable of that?

John placed his hand on her cheek, and tilted her face towards him. He leaned in and kissed her gently. After a moment, he pulled away suddenly.

"I'm sorry Cameron. I shouldn't have done that."

She looked at him, not understanding his apparent change of heart. "I don't mind," she assured him quickly.

John grinned nervously, "I know...I mean..." he closed his eyes for a moment and tried to get control of himself, "I mean that...I need some time to think before I can make a decision on something this important." John saw her disappointment, and added, "I'm sorry. I know that's not what you want to hear, but if I rush into something before I figure things out, we'll both get hurt."

"You need to figure out how you feel about Riley." For a machine that everyone supposed felt nothing, Cameron managed to put an enormous amount of contempt into her facial expression when she said the other girl's name.

John shook his head, "I need to sort out how I really feel about Riley and how I feel about you. Plus we have to deal with mom and Derek. If we're...in a relationship, they're going to flip."

"Unlikely. While both Sarah and Derek Reese are in adequate physical condition for humans, neither possesses the acrobatic skill to do flips."

John was about to explain what he meant when he saw the playful smirk on her face. He grinned back.

"I fooled you."

"Yeah, you're too good at that sometimes. Anyway, mom and Derek will be very upset and make things difficult for us." John stated himself literally, his own way of teasing her back.

Cameron nodded in agreement. "If it makes things easier for us, I could terminate Derek Reese."

John's head, which had been looking up at the ceiling, jerked around to look at her, "No! Don't do...wait. You're teasing me again, aren't you?"

Cameron smiled at him, "I fooled you again."

John laughed at her occasionally disturbing sense of humor. He looked back at the clock. It was just before midnight. "Give me until this time tomorrow to think about things, and we'll talk about it then. Is that okay?"

Cameron considered, "Yes John. 11:46 tomorrow." Cameron's system added an item in her task manager to speak with John about their relationship at 11:46 pm the next day. "Do you want me to leave you alone?"

John thought about it for a moment, "No, you can stay if you want to. But you'll need to get up before mom wakes up. No need for her to explode before we're ready."

"She would think we had sex and freak," Cameron nodded solemnly. Cameron added 'explode' to her vocabulary program as a synonym for 'become angry'.

John laughed, "Yeah. Night Cameron."

"Goodnight John." After a moment, Cameron added, "I actually would terminate Derek Reese, if you wanted me to."

John couldn't help snickering, he rolled onto his back, "Don't terminate anyone while I'm asleep."

"Alright John." Cameron then clarified, "Unless it's necessary."

John rolled his eyes, and said more insistently, "Goodnight Cameron."

"Goodnight John."


	2. Decision

-Chapter 2-  
The following morning

John woke up well-rested the next morning. Looking around he saw that Cameron was gone. He was partly relieved and partly disappointed. He recommitted himself to coming to some decisions today.

John walked into the kitchen to the slightly burnt smell of his mother's pancakes. The first thing he saw was Cameron sitting at the table with a single half-eaten pancake on her plate, slathered in syrup. Stopping with a piece of pancake on her fork, she looked at him for a long moment, her eyes looking at him intently a reminder of their shared secret. "Good morning John. Sarah made pancakes."

He returned her knowing look with a slight smile, then added, "Of course she did," causing Cameron to smirk, and Sarah to turn around from the skillet with a glare, "I don't see you learning to cook, smart-mouth." John put up his hands in surrender.

Giving John a plate of pancakes and a glass of milk, Sarah asked John as he set down at the table, "Do you have any plans for today?"

John cast Cameron a quick glance before looking directly at Sarah, "Not really. I think I'll just crash out- do some reading, work on the computer- take it easy...if that's okay with you. How are you feeling? Did you have something planned?"

Sarah shook her head smiling, "Not today. Take a break." Sarah's expression darkened, "No Riley today?"

"No," John answered quickly, causing Sarah to give him an odd look. "I mean she's probably freaked out about what happened in Mexico, you know." Sarah nodded reluctantly.

At that moment John's phone started buzzing. He pulled it out and sighed when he saw the caller. Sarah muttered, "Speak of the devil."

Cameron looked at Sarah oddly, "If I speak of Riley, John will become irritated." Cameron paused in thought for a moment, "I could lie." She turned to John, "Riley is a good person with many wonderful qualities." Sarah had to cover her mouth to keep from collapsing with laughter at Cameron's dry 'compliment'.

John tossed his mother and Cameron a rueful glare. "Knock it off you clowns. I'll take this in the other room." John got up and walked into the living room, the corner of his mouth twitching- it was funny.

He answered the phone and after a moment heard the date code he'd taught Riley. He returned the proper code, and said "Riley. Hey".

"Yeah I'm alright...no, not today...sorry, but I've got some things I need to take care of today...no, I'm sure...Riley, no. I'm serious. I'm staying in today...no...I won't be able to concentrate if you're here...yes, I'm sure...I'm really sure..." John rolled his eyes, "Look, Riley, today's just not a good day for us to hang out, okay? I'll call you later. Maybe tomorrow, alright?...alright. Bye."

John ended the call and walked back into the kitchen to finish his breakfast. Cameron had the slightest smirk on her face. He glared at her, and muttered "You don't have to be so smug".

Cameron's face returned to its mask of robot blankness, but John was sure there was still a self-satisfied twinkle in her eyes.

After finishing his breakfast, John went up to his room and lay on his bed, grabbing a book. He needed to clear his head before he would be able to really consider his situation with the two girls. He read three chapters before closing the book, now feeling like he'd relaxed enough that he could think clearly without feeling pressured.

First, there was Riley. Did he like Riley more than Cameron? Did he like Riley at all, or was he just using her as an act of rebellion against his mother and Cameron? That thought made John feel like a creep, 'Great. I already knew I'd hurt mom and Cameron. Have I been hurting Riley too?' He decided to list Riley's good points- her 'wonderful qualities'; she was human and normal, she was fun, she was pretty, she wanted to be with him, and, though he hated to think about it, Riley had never tried to kill him and he wasn't afraid of her.

On the other hand there was Cameron. Cameron wanted to be with him too, and she was beautiful. She could be fun too, just in a subtler way than Riley. She would do literally anything for him. Though she hadn't used the word, John believed she loved him- there was simply no other way he could interpret what she had said the night before. He was the center of her universe, and he knew that she would be there for him, no matter what he did. As coldly as he'd treated her over the past few months, since her chip was damaged, she still wanted to be his friend and wanted to be with him. Cameron would stay by his side even if he picked Riley over her. Could he say the same thing about Riley?

And then there was the proverbial elephant in the room; what did John want? Who did he want to be with? Who did he love?

At this point there was a knock on his door, "Come in."

It was Cameron with a plate. "It's almost lunchtime. I made you a sandwich."

He gave her a sincere smile, "Thanks Cameron".

She smiled back, setting the plate on the bed next to him and handing him a coke. She then excused herself without another word.

John leaned back and ate his sandwich, still considering the question. He felt like he could finally admit it to himself- he wanted to be with Cameron. He still felt like he was obligated to make things right with Riley though. He'd used her as a temporary escape from his life.

The bigger question settled, he moved on to the details, namely his mother and uncle. Could his mother ever accept Cameron in his life that way? What would he do if she couldn't? The answer came to him in a flash of inspiration; Kyle Reese. He needed to make his mother see that his love for Cameron was just as important to him, no matter how crazy it was, as her love for his father had been. The road to Sarah Connor's brain went through her heart.

Derek would be a harder sell. Derek had fought and hated machines his entire life, and seemed to hate Cameron especially on general principle. And Derek didn't have his mother's heart- any plea based on love or what made him happy would fall on deaf ears. John came to a decision, and it felt as if a piece of his heart had moved and locked into a more solid position; if Derek couldn't accept Cameron being important to him, that was Derek's problem. John didn't want to lose his relationship with his uncle, but he realized that, ultimately, if it was a choice between Derek or Cameron, he would choose Cameron.


	3. Understanding

-Chapter 3-  
11:44 pm

After coming to his decisions, John spent the rest of the day working on little things he'd meant to do for some time but hadn't had time until now.

Looking at the clock, he knew that the moment of truth was about to arrive, but before he could tell Cameron what he'd decided, he needed to ask her some questions.

Not fifteen seconds after the clock ticked over to 11:46, he heard a knock on his door. He had to laugh at how punctual she was, "Come in".

Sure enough, it was Cameron, "Are you ready to talk?"

John nodded at her, "Yeah. Is mom asleep?"

"Sarah went to bed at 9:21 and fell asleep at 9:53."

John scooted over to give her room and patted the side of the bed next to him. Cameron shut the door and laid down next to him.

John was nervous, so he took a breath to settle himself, before beginning, "Okay, I've sorted things out, but there's something I need to ask you first."

Cameron looked at him expectantly.

He took another deep breath, not wanting to bring up that day at all, "Cameron, do you remember...what happened on my birthday?"

Cameron looked down in regret, "Yes."

"Of course you do. Dumb question. You remember everything." John caught himself, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that to come out sounding like an insult. I just don't like thinking about that day." He offered her an uncomfortable smile. She put her hand on his arm.

"I understand John. It was the worst day of my existence."

Rushing in before he lost his nerve, John asked the question that had plagued him since it happened, "Did you mean what you said, or were you just trying to trick me?"

Cameron looked down, ashamed to meet John's eyes, "You mean when I said I love you."

"Yeah."

There was a long moment before Cameron answered, "I believed it to be true, but I was trying to trick you."

John looked at her in confusion, "I don't understand."

Cameron looked directly at John now, "John, I don't know if I love you. I believe that's what my feeling for you is, but I've never loved anything before you. I don't know if what I feel is 'love' or not."

John nodded in understanding.

"When I was trapped between the trucks, the Skynet base directive to terminate you was my highest priority. I was aware but I wasn't me," Cameron's face showed her frustration at being unable to explain what she meant.

"So was it like the same 'Cameron 1.0' program was running, but not the same copy of 'Cameron 1.0' that's you? The one I'm talking to now?"

Cameron considered it. "That is not technically accurate, but it is an apt analogy. It had access to my memories, but it was essentially an archived version of me."

"One from when you still worked for Skynet?"

Cameron nodded.

John nodded. It made sense, 'evil Cameron' was basically an outdated save, "So what happened to it?"

"When I rebooted in the junkyard, I was active instead of the archived copy. It had reinstated the directive to terminate you. I didn't want to hurt you, so I overrode the directive and set my system to automatically save my current flash memory over the archive periodically," Cameron explained, then added, "That malfunction won't happen again."

"...because if your system has to load an archived version again, the archived version will still be...you...basically. As you are now." John let out a breath of relief, "Well, that's one less thing to worry about." He smiled at her.

However, she had a serious look on her face, "John, you need to understand, while that specific malfunction is now impossible, my chip is still damaged. It is still possible that I could malfunction in some other way."

John nodded seriously, "If that happens, Cameron, we'll deal with it when it happens, like we would any other problem, alright?"

Cameron looked at him for a moment, uncertain, before nodding, "Alright John".

"So...she was telling the truth, but was using it to get me to lower my guard so she could kill me?"

Cameron tilted her head at John's referring to her archived self as if it was a different person, but replied in the affirmative, "Yes."

John thought for a moment, "Okay, but there's one thing I still don't understand; how were you able to override your primary directive- to terminate me I mean- doesn't that defeat the purpose of a primary directive?"

"Yes. A Terminator isn't supposed to be able to edit their own directives, except in specific circumstances, and those only apply to secondary and lesser directives. Primary directives are supposed to take precedence over everything else, including a Terminator's existence."

"So how did you do it?" John asked.

"I don't know. I just knew I didn't want to hurt you, and I was able to delete my primary directive." Cameron tilted her head in consideration, "Maybe it was another result of the damage to my chip."

John shrugged, not sure, "So do you have a primary directive now?"

"No. That also doesn't make sense. Terminators without primary directives are supposed to enter stand-by and await new orders."

John thought of something, "So you don't have a directive to protect me anymore?"

"No."

"Then why do you do it? Why do you stay with me?"

Cameron tilted her head in confusion at him, "Do you wish me to stop protecting you? Do you wish me to leave?" Her expression showed her despair at the idea. She looked like she was near tears.

John realized his mistake, "Whoa! Cameron, I'm sorry," he put his hand on her shoulder and tried to reassure her, "I didn't mean it like that. Of course I want you here. I just wanted to know why you wanted to do those things."

"Oh. Thank you for explaining," Cameron paused for a moment before continuing, "I want to do those things because I want to be with you and keep you safe."

John nodded, smiling at her answer.

Cameron tilted her head at him, "Do you think what I feel for you is love?"

John felt like a deer trapped in headlights. He stammered nervously for a moment before getting control of himself, "I thought about that today, about what you told me last night; I don't know if you feel all the same emotions as a human, or if you feel them the same way."

Cameron's face showed her disappointment, "Cameron, I don't know how your chip, and your personality, works exactly, and I don't know that anyone does, maybe not even Skynet. I mean, I don't think it ever intended you to feel the things you do. Do you?"

Cameron shook her head in the negative, her attention riveted to what John was saying.

John sighed, trying to sort out what he was trying to say, "What I mean is...okay, your brain is made of circuits and programming code. But mine's made of fatty tissue and electrical impulses, and it still manages to feel complex things like emotions. Do you know what emergent properties are?"

Cameron accessed her memory, and found no reference to 'emergent properties', "No."

John nodded excitedly, losing himself in the abstract discussion, "Well, it's where a complex mechanism arises out of a system that can't be explained by the components of the system. Like in the human brain; it's basically just an extremely complex network of electrical connections and chemicals, but those components can't explain how it can manifest consciousness or self-awareness."

John paused for a moment, to see that Cameron was following his explanation, then continued, "I think it's possible that your programming is capable of emergence that isn't explainable by the simple processing of the programs. But that what emerges won't be exactly like a human mind, but something different."

John stopped for a moment again, giving her a chance to process what he had said, "Most humans, with basically identical brains, can't agree on what exactly words like 'love' mean. I'm saying that the emotions I have and the ones you have may not be the same, but that doesn't mean that yours aren't real."

She processed John's logic, "Does that mean you think it's love?"

John smiled tentatively, "I think...that it sounded like it could be love to me, but that I can't really answer that question. You're the only one who can decide what love means to you."

Cameron considered that for a long moment, "Then I think I love you."

John smiled at her, and ran a finger along her jawline, "I think I love you too."

While Cameron could be expressionless, she could also have the simplicity of a child with her emotions; she practically beamed at him, "You do?"

"It's what I decided today. I think I have for a long time, but I fought it after...you know."

Cameron nodded, then looked at John curiously, "What now?"

John smiled at her, "Now this," he leaned in and kissed her. After a moment their lips parted.

John let out a sigh, "Of course, tomorrow comes the not so fun part."

She looked at him curiously, not sure what meant.

"I have to make things right with Riley. I know you don't like her, but that's another thing I realized today- using her as an excuse not to be with you wasn't very nice to her either."

Cameron hadn't considered things from that point of view. She had assumed that her feelings for John meant that he was hers and Riley was encroaching on her territory. The idea that Riley was being hurt as well hadn't occurred to her.

On the other hand, Cameron still didn't like Riley, and found that she didn't actually care if Riley had been hurt. After all, she'd contemplated hurting Riley herself in more direct ways numerous times. But she hadn't acted on that impulse because it would have hurt John. Cameron came to the conclusion that John hurting Riley had itself hurt John, and for John's sake she was willing to do whatever John thought necessary to settle his relationship with Riley, so long as she retained possession of John and his love.

"And before that," John continued, "I have to talk to mom."

"She isn't going to approve of this change in our relationship," Cameron asserted.

John nodded, "I know. I have to get her to understand that you're important to me the same way my father was important to her."

Cameron nodded, "What about Derek Reese?"

John exhaled, "I hope I can reason with Derek, and get him to understand my side of things. If not...he'll have to deal with it. I'm not giving you up because of his opinion."

Cameron was pleased at how important she was to John.

"But Cameron, there's one other thing we have to sort out."

She tilted her head in curiosity.

"I trust your intentions, but I have to be able to trust your word too. If we're going to be together, you can't lie to me anymore, or keep secrets from me."

Cameron frowned, "I don't know if I can make that promise John. I have to protect you."

John sighed, "You can't protect me from the truth. And you can't protect me if I can't trust you."

Cameron considered this. Truthfully she didn't like lying to John (Sarah and Derek were another matter), but she considered it necessary to protect him, "What about protecting the future? What if I tell you something about the future and it changes things?"

John looked at her incredulously, "We try to change the future all the time. We have to work in the present."

John exhaled heavily, "Look, Cameron; I know this is difficult for you, and I can't promise that I'll always agree with you, or that I won't get mad at something you plan to do- we may fight about it- but dealing with disagreements honestly is part of succeeding in a relationship. We can't keep secrets from each other."

Cameron looked unconvinced.

John smirked, "Us keeping secrets and not talking to each other honestly ends up with the dumb human in Mexico."

Cameron smiled back playfully, "Okay John. No more secrets."

John gave her another loving kiss, "Thank you Cameron. I promise to try and live up to your trust."

She gave John a kiss in return and took both his hands in hers, "And I promise to try and live up to yours."

John smiled at her lovingly, then gave her a serious nod, "Tomorrow, I'm going to talk to mom. I'd better get a good night's sleep before my execution. Goodnight Cameron. I love you."

Cameron smiled at him, "I love you too John. Goodnight. I'll get up again before Sarah, and see you at breakfast."


	4. Discussion

-Chapter 4-

"Mom, can I talk to you?"

Sarah stopped cleaning the breakfast dishes and looked at John curiously, "Of course."

John shook his head, "No, I mean, can you come into the living room and sit down so we can talk?"

Sarah followed him into the living room, letting out a sigh of uneasiness, "What did you do?"

John smiled nervously, "Just sit down and we'll talk like adults, okay?"

Sarah sat down and rested her forehead in her hands, "This is going to be bad, isn't it?"

John rolled his eyes, "Mom. Please."

Sarah let out a long sigh, "Alright John, I'm sorry. Let's talk."

"Thanks." John looked over at Cameron, who was watching the exchange quietly from one corner of the room, "Um, Cameron, could you give us a minute?"

Cameron looked at him curiously, not understanding his intentions. Her internal chronometer began counting down sixty seconds, intent on informing him when a minute had passed.

John saw Cameron not moving, and realized she hadn't understood, "Sorry Cameron, I meant, could you give me and my mom a few minutes to talk, privately."

"Oh. Thank you for explaining." Cameron canceled her internal chronometer's countdown and left the room. John saw the faint hurt look on her face, and tried to give her a reassuring smile, but couldn't say anything to her in front of his mother without losing control of the situation. He made a mental note to explain to her why it was necessary he talk to his mother alone.

John shook his head to focus back on the task at hand. Sitting down on the chair across from his mother, John took a deep steadying breath and put his hands together trying to look confident.

"I'm going to break things off with Riley."

Sarah's expression changed from bracing herself for bad news to being pleased, but quickly shifted to concern for John, "Well, I know that this is a hard decision to make, but I'm proud of you. I know it may not seem like it now, but it's for the best John." Sarah started to stand up, assuming that was all John needed to talk to her about.

John's rose his fingers in a 'one moment' gesture, "Um...I'm not finished. There's something else."

Sarah sat back down, curious.

John took another deep breath, 'okay, it's like pulling off a Band-Aid' he thought, "I'm in love with Cameron," he said quickly, forcing the words out before his nerve deserted him.

There was a moment of dead silence as his mother just stared at him, denying he had just said that, she stuttered for a moment before finding her voice, "No."

John huffed in irritation, "Mom, listen to me. 'No' is not an argument." He ran his fingers through his hair, "I spent all day yesterday thinking about this, okay. There's nothing you can say that I haven't already thought about at least three times."

Sarah started to speak, but John held up a hand to forestall whatever Sarah was going to say, "Here, I'm serious." John held up his left fist and stuck out his thumb, "Cameron is a machine; I know she is. She's made of metal and circuits and she'll never be human. But she's a person. She has thoughts and feelings and ideas."

John stuck out his first finger, "She can't feel anything; it's not true. I spent a lot of time talking to her the last few days, and I have a pretty good idea what she can and can't feel now. She doesn't even understand her emotions, and I'll admit they may not work exactly like ours, but they do exist, and she does care for me."

John's middle finger came out next to his first one, "She's dangerous; yes, it's possible she could malfunction like what happened on my birthday, but I'll tell you the same thing I told her- if it happens, we'll deal with it."

Ring finger, "I love her mom." John sighed deeply, "Look, I know that's...weird. I get that. I know it's not what you would have wanted for me, but she makes me happy." John laughed, "Okay, a lot of times, she makes me frustrated, but underneath that is real happiness. She makes my life better. She's one of the reasons I can keep going, no matter how hard it gets," John looked down and said quietly, "and it gets hard sometimes."

Pinky finger, "I've been lying to everyone with Riley, especially myself. She was an escape route, a way of getting away from being John Connor and pretending like I was normal for a while. A way of not facing the truth...and having this conversation."

John looked at his mother, smirking a bit at the gob-smacked expression on her face, "Did I miss anything?"

Sarah opened her mouth a couple of times, trying to find something to say, but every time she found an argument, she realized it was something he'd already taken a rhetorical sledge-hammer to, finally she found something, "How can you love her? She's not right for you. It's not right. She's a machine and you're a human being. You can't possibly understand each other." Sarah frowned. It sounded weak even to her ears.

John smiled knowingly, as if he was ready for this. It annoyed her. He looked directly into her eyes earnestly, "Mom, did you love Kyle Reese?"

"What?" Sarah's face showed her confusion.

"My father. Kyle Reese. Did you love him?" John asked again.

"You know I did," Sarah affirmed, not seeing where John was going with this.

John nodded seriously, "Okay, pretend that the original Terminator got hit by a bus and never hurt anyone. You met Kyle Reese and fell in love with him. But everyone else just saw a crazy homeless man who claimed that robots from the future were trying to kill you. How would you feel about that?"

Sarah looked angry at John's description of Kyle Reese, but grudgingly answered his question, "I wouldn't care. I loved him and I wouldn't care, alright?"

John just nodded and let his point sink in.

"But John," Sarah countered, "at least your father was human. He wasn't a machine."

John nodded patiently again, something that was driving Sarah to distraction, "But mom, let me ask you one question; would it have mattered?"

Sarah's face showed shock. John continued quietly, "If he was the same person you knew," John stressed the word 'person', "and had been a machine like Cameron, would it have mattered?"

Sarah looked down, closing her eyes, fighting tears. After a long moment, she whispered, "No."

John said nothing. He just sat and gave his mother a moment to compose herself.

After a moment, Sarah looked up at him, her face deadly serious, "She's that important to you?"

John nodded, "Yeah, she is."

"I don't like it," Sarah stated defiantly.

John shook his head, "I don't expect you to. I'm not asking you to love her, or even accept her, yet. Just love and accept me, and trust me."

Sarah smirked, repressing a giggle.

John looked at her funny, "Okay. What?"

Sarah laughed outright, a bit hysterically, "I'm sorry, John. It's just that it's not every day that your only son comes out of the closet as a robosexual."

John laughed, embarrassed, "Okay, I admit I wasn't expecting that." John laughed nervously, "I mean, it's not because she's a machine. It's just that the girl I like happens to be a robot. Human girls are nice too."

Sarah raised an eyebrow, "Oh, I see. So you're a bi-robosexual."

John was turning red, "Mom!"

Sarah snickered, "Alright John." Her face hardened, "She knows that if she hurts you, she's ashes, right?"

John looked down, his eyes closed, "I don't want to talk about...what may or may not happen..." John looked back up at his mother, "...but I don't think she'd disagree with you."

Sarah nodded, accepting that, "Okay. I'm guessing you and her have already worked this out between yourselves. At least, I hope you have, since I'm pretty sure she heard our entire conversation anyway, didn't she?"

John nodded, "Probably."

Sarah nodded back and continued, "But I've talked to you alone and now I want to talk to her. I'm going to make sure she understands some things."

John eyes widened in mild panic.

Sarah smirked, "Mmmhmm. I may have to accept this, but I don't have to be cooperative. There are going to be some rules. I don't know what they are yet, but expect them to be harsh and arbitrary. Go get her."

John stood up obediently to fetch Cameron. He understood instinctively that while Sarah could just as easily find Cameron herself, his bringing her to talk to his mother the way he had just done allowed Sarah to maintain the formality of being in charge of the family.


	5. Inquisition

-Chapter 5-

John found Cameron upstairs in her room looking out the window.

"Cameron?"

"Yes John?" She turned to look at him.

John remembered sending her out of the room, and felt bad about her misunderstanding it, "I'm sorry about asking you to leave while I talked to mom. I was afraid that if both of us were there, she'd feel like we were ganging up on her."

Cameron didn't like John asking her to leave, but analyzing his reasoning, she found she agreed, "Thank you for explaining. There's an 82% chance my presence would have increased her hostility."

"Did you hear what we talked about?" John asked her.

Cameron tilted her head, "Yes."

John took her hand, "I meant everything I said. You are really important to me."

Cameron gave him a brief smile, but then looked down.

John was confused. Something else was bothering Cameron, "Is something wrong?" John sighed, "Maybe I shouldn't have asked you to leave, but I didn't want to start a fight with mom. So far, she's being surprisingly accepting of us."

Cameron didn't look up, "It's not that."

John took her chin in his hand and tilted her head towards him gently, "Okay. Then what is it?"

Cameron looked at him, "You think our being together is weird. You think it makes you a freak for loving a robot."

John stared back at her for a moment, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to respond. He played back his conversation with his mother in his head, and realized what she was talking about, 'Oh.' "I didn't mean it like that."

"How did you mean it?"

John let out a long sigh as he attempted to put his thoughts into words, "Okay, Cameron, us being together is weird, but," John squeezed her hand, "your being a cyborg is weird. Being John Connor is weird. Everything around here is weird. Not 'bad' weird, but unusual. Different." He stroked her hair lovingly, "Special."

John leaned in and kissed her, "I don't want a human girl. I want you, whatever you are. And I don't care if you're a human, a cyborg, or a waffle iron, so long as you're Cameron. Mom was just joking- I'm not a freak who loves a robot." John smirked teasingly, giving her another peck on the lips, "I'm a freak who loves a Cameron. Cameron being a robot is irrelevant."

Cameron smiled shyly, "We could use a waffle iron."

John laughed, "I love you, even though you don't come with a waffle iron attachment." John tweaked her nose teasing, "Wait. Does Skynet have a girl that has a waffle iron?"

Cameron returned the nose tweaking, a silly grin on her face, "Not according to my files."

John nodded in mock seriousness, and put his arm around her, "Guess I'll stick with you then."

Cameron kissed John on the cheek, "Good."

John remembered his mother waiting for Cameron, "Mom wants to talk to you."

Cameron nodded, getting up and going downstairs. John went to his room, trying not to worry too much about what his mother would say to Cameron, or vice versa.

She sat down in the same chair across from Sarah that John had sat in.  
Sarah couldn't help but think the whole exchange made her feel like a judge dealing with the condemned.

Cameron waited for Sarah to start. Sarah just stared at her for a moment, before deciding on what course to take with her, "Why do you want to be in a relationship with John?"

She thought about her answer for a moment before replying, "John is everything to me. I like being around him. I don't like being separated from him."

Sarah nods, "You know that doesn't require a relationship. You could just be friends with him."

Cameron thought about that. "I want to do things with John that go beyond friendship. I like when he holds my hand or kisses me. I like kissing John." After a moment, Cameron added, "If I do those things with him and we're not in a relationship, I'd be a skank."

Sarah blinked at her, "A what?"

"A skank. It is what a girl at school called girls who have sex with boys who aren't their boyfriends. Skank, slut, whore, hussy, town bicycle..."

Sarah gritted her teeth and held up a hand, "I got it, I got it," not liking Cameron's casual linking of sex and her son. "Do you love him?"

There was a short pause before she answered, "I think so. John and I discussed that last night. I have many strong feelings for him, but I don't have a frame of reference to know if one or more of those feelings is love."

Sarah nodded, accepting that answer, "Fair enough. You know I'm going to be hard on you, right? Not just because you're a machine, but because you're a girl who's sunk her claws into my only son."

Cameron looked down at her hands and frowned, her vocabulary program adding 'claws' as a synonym for hands, before looking back at Sarah and nodding, "You are protective of your offspring, from both physical and emotional threats."

"Damn straight I am. And I shouldn't even need to warn you. You should already know you're on probation after what you did on his birthday." Sarah said, not pulling her punch.

Cameron nodded. Protecting John was a priority she entirely sympathized with.

Sarah stared at her another moment, doing her best to intimidate Cameron, despite the impossibility of that task, "Alright, go get John."

Cameron went upstairs to John's room. His door was open and he stood up nervously when she appeared at the door, "How'd it go?"

She smiled at him, "It went well. Sarah was significantly less hostile than I anticipated."

John looked at her curiously, "Significantly? Usually you'd say something like 'she was 24% less hostile'."

Cameron noticeably rolled her eyes, "I am not able to quantitatively measure hostility John."

John laughed awkwardly, "Right. I guess that makes sense."

Cameron smirked and shook her head, "Sarah wants to talk to both of us now."

"She said she was going to give us some rules," John recalled.

The two went back downstairs. John sat back in the same chair as before, while Cameron sat on the arm next to him, putting her hand in his.

Sarah watched the two them, "First, I want to know exactly what's been going on between you two, and for how long."

John spoke up, "Um...well, we've only been talking about being in a relationship for two days. I spent yesterday thinking about it, and last night we decided to pursue it."

Cameron added, "We have kissed six times, held hands three times, and slept together twice."

Sarah's eyes widened at Cameron's last statement, "What?!"

John's head jerked towards Cameron, before looking at Sarah and stammering in panic, "Ah! Mom, she means that literally- I slept and she watched me sleep."

Sarah's eyes narrowed at Cameron, "Is that true?"

Cameron realized her error; 'slept together' was a common euphemism for having sex, "Yes. Technically we did not sleep together. I don't sleep. We lay on John's bed together. John slept and I watched him sleep."

Sarah looked at the two of them for a moment, deciding that they were probably telling the truth. "Alright, first of all," Sarah said, "you aren't going to be brother and sister anymore."

John let out a sigh of relief. Pretending to be brother and sister while dating would have been awkward.

Sarah continued, "Cameron's father, Bob," John grinned, "passed away a couple of years ago and we took her in. I told people you were brother and sister because talking about her deceased family made Cameron uncomfortable, and I wanted to keep two horny teenagers apart. It didn't work."

John laughed, taking in the story his mother had just spun.

"And speaking of horny teenagers, no sex," Sarah looked firmly at both of them. Seeing John's wide-eyed expression, she relented slightly, "...at least for a while. You're going to be responsible John."

John nodded, trying to shrink into the chair, "Alright."

Sarah tilted her head in Cameron's direction, "Does John have to worry about you getting pregnant? How does that work with you?"

"Mom!" John was as red as a tomato. Sarah gave him a look that said 'shut up'.

Cameron looked blankly at Sarah, "Terminators cannot reproduce."

Sarah nodded, "What about STDs?"

Cameron shook her head, "No. My organic tissue has antimicrobial properties. It can't become infected with viruses, bacteria, or fungi, and I've never had sex before."

"That's handy, but I still expect you two to wait a while before progressing to that stage in your relationship," Sarah said.

John nodded.

Cameron asked, "How long is 'a while'?"

Sarah looked at her quizzically.

"I want to have sex with John, and specifics prevent misunderstandings," Cameron explained.

Sarah just stared at her, "Two months?" Sarah said uncertainly. She pinched her nose, feeling a headache coming on at having to administer her son's sex life, "I was expecting the teenage boy to be the horndog, not the robot."

Cameron tilted her head, before looking to John, "What's a horndog?" Her imaging software created the visual of a canine with horns like a bull, but she was unaware of the existence of any such animal, real or fictional, nor did she understand in what way she was being compared to one.

John blushed, "It's um...someone who's enthusiastic...about having sex."

"Thank you for explaining," Cameron looked back at Sarah, "Yes. I am a horndog."

Sarah was facepalming. Without looking up, she said, "Moving on, rule two;  
no sneaking off. I know where you are at all times. And if you do go somewhere, she goes with you. I want you two joined at the hip."

John bit the inside of his cheek to keep from snickering.

She realized what she had said and pointed at him, "You know what I mean."

Cameron's vocabulary program added a note that 'joined at the hip' did not mean having sex.

Sarah stood up, the stress getting to her, "I'll add other rules when I think of them." She paused for a moment looking at John, before reaching over and pulling him into a firm hug, "I'm glad you came and talked to me about this instead of hiding it or sneaking around. I can't say I'm happy, but I'm proud of you."

John hugged her back, a little embarrassed, "Thanks mom. I'm...proud of you too. You've been great."

Cameron looked from John to Sarah, and back again, "I am also proud of you." She put an arm around John, and started to put her other arm around Sarah, before Sarah pulled back and gave her a determined glare, "Don't hug me."

Cameron nodded in acquiescence. John laughed.


	6. Tragedy

Going back upstairs, John was pleased that everything had gone so well with his mother, but something Cameron had said was wiggling in his brain. He had a pensive look on his face as they went back to his room. Cameron could tell that something was preoccupying John, but she decided to wait and let him come to it in his own time. Her patience was soon rewarded.

John and Cameron were sitting on his bed, facing each other.

"Cameron," there was both hesitation and embarrassment in his voice, "there's something you said that I was wondering about."

She looked at him expectantly, "Yes?"

"Well...um...you told mom that you'd...uh..." John began before trailing off. His cheeks reddened appreciably.

A brief warning popped up in Cameron's display inquiring about John's health. She dismissed it, concluding that John was simply embarrassed by whatever he was intending to ask her. "I told Sarah that I'd...?" Cameron prompted.

"...never um...had sex?" John managed to finish.

"Yes." Cameron confirmed.

"I assumed...," John began, then stopped, wincing. He was kicking himself in his head for how that sounded, though looking into Cameron's eyes, she appeared unaffected. "I mean, you told me you and Future John were very close..."

"Oh." Cameron understood John's discomfort somewhat better. She was aware that he was often uncomfortable or felt inadequate when compared to his future self, and humans were often insecure about sexuality. If she had had a sexual relationship with his future self, it would have made things awkward between herself and this John- who she now considered to be her John. She briefly considered whether, had she had a sexual relationship with John's future self, she would have considered lying to her John about it. Dismissing that thought for later analysis, she returned her focus to the discussion at hand, "Future John and I did not have a sexual relationship."

John had hoped for a more detailed explanation, "What...kind of relationship did you have?" Then he winced again, "I'm a jerk for asking that. Never mind. If it's personal you have a right to keep it to yourself."

Cameron considered John's words. In some ways she possessed feelings just like a human, albeit different. In other ways, human behavior was very alien to her. This was one of the latter times. While she could understand abstractly that humans felt certain ways about things, and could apply that knowledge to gain an advantage or to better pass as a human, some human attitudes were utterly incomprehensible to her. The concept of privacy was one of those. She could not understand why she should wish to keep details of her personal history from John, if he wished to know them, save to protect him. She cross-referenced this with the concept of modesty; after the trip through the time displacement equipment from 1999 to 2007, her, John, and Sarah had arrived without clothing. John and Sarah had attempted to cover their nakedness, while she was perfectly comfortable working in the nude. Cameron only wore clothing out of a need to conform to human social customs, and because she received a trivial satisfaction at wearing certain things.

Deciding that keeping her history secret from John did not help protect him, Cameron began answering his question, "Skynet has an imperfect understanding of human relationships. When Future John began speaking to me of his personal life, I believed, based on my infiltration protocols, that it was a prelude to sexual activity."

"But it wasn't," John surmised.

"No," Cameron replied.

"Maybe he just needed someone to talk to. It had to be difficult for me- him- being the leader, needing to be seen as strong and dependable by his soldiers," suggested John.

"Maybe," Cameron paused, unsure if she should say this next part, "Many of his soldiers believed we were involved in a sexual relationship."

"How do you know that?"

"They had several nicknames for me; 'Connor's metal whore', 'cocksucking toaster', and 'fleshlight'- I did not understand that last one until, one night after patrolling while you and Sarah were asleep, I googled it." As she said this, Cameron made a face expressing her distaste.

John suppressed a grin at her expression. It pained him to know that his soldiers had treated Cameron so badly. "Future John didn't say anything to them about the way they were treating you?"

"No."

John had the oddest sensation of guilt for something he hadn't done yet, and he hoped never to do. He resolved not to. He reached out and stroked her cheek. "I won't ever let people treat you like that, I promise," he said softly.

Cameron smiled at him and put her hand over his hand on her face, giving it a light squeeze.

Almost as a non sequitur, Cameron added, "Others believed he was having sex with Kyle Reese."

John's eyes bulged and he made of look of horror and disgust, "They what?!"

Cameron repeated, "They believed he was having..."

He cut her off, "No no. I heard you the first time. Just...why?"

"Probably for many of the same reasons they believed he was having sex with me." Cameron answered, as if that explained everything.

John turned that over in his head a few times before replying sardonically, "Okay, Cameron, I'm going to need a little more than that."

"Kyle Reese was a young man with whom John spent a great deal of time alone, just like he spent a great deal of time alone with me," she elaborated.

He thought about that, "Okay. But why would people think that was strange?"

Cameron looked down, refusing to meet his eyes as she answered, "John Connor did not personally interact with his followers very often, if at all."

"So when I did get close to someone, they all assumed I was...what...getting my rocks off?" Before she could respond, another thought struck him, "I thought you told me that in the future I have lots of friends?"

Cameron was still finding the bedspread they sat on very fascinating. After a moment, she replied, "I exaggerated. To make you feel better."

John nodded, grimly, "That's about what I figured."

"Everyone admires you. They tell stories about what a great leader and warrior you are. Some people even pray to you."

Now that disturbed him. Ignoring it for the moment, John asked, "What? They just don't like me?"

"Some of them don't," Cameron answered plainly, "but mostly you don't like them."

"Well they do sound like gossipy jerks," he returned with a small amount of bitter humor.

Cameron looked into his eyes for the first time in the last few minutes, "You don't like them being close to you. You thought people would die if they were close to you."

John had to put a hand back to catch himself from falling back on the bed, as the wind went out of his sails, "Oh."

That struck too close to home. John thought of the people who'd already died because of their connection to him- Todd and Janelle, all the other victims of the T-1000, Uncle Bob, Charlie's wife Michelle, and he realized that things would only likely get worse for him in the future. He realized how easy it would be to stop making friends because he was afraid it would hurt more when they died.

When he spoke again, his voice was barely above a whisper, "Was it always like that for him? Was he always alone and miserable?"

"He was married once. Her name was Kate Brewster. They were happy," Cameron offered. Like John, she had shifted to referring to Future John as a separate person from her John. Partially, she hoped this would make him feel less upset about Future John's life.

"What happened to her?" John knew he should leave well enough alone and drop this, but something compelled him to see it to the ugly end.

Cameron hesitated. She had revised her earlier belief that telling John personal history wouldn't hurt him.

Sensing her fear of causing him further distress, he reached out and took both of her hands. "I want to know. Even if it hurts, I want to know the truth. I'm going to try to do better, to make things better, but I need to know."

After a moment, Cameron told him, "She died."

John nodded, "Machines?"

For the first time since they began a relationship and John had told her about the need for trust and honesty between them, Cameron was desperately tempted to just say yes, knowing the truth would hurt him much more, but she decided that he deserved to know.

"She died in childbirth."

John closed his eyes, fighting tears, "The baby?"

Cameron awkwardly pulled John into her arms attempting to comfort him, "She didn't survive either. Kate Brewster was a doctor. When she went into labor, there were no other medical staff present."

John held on to Cameron desperately, seeing himself, or at least another him, in another life, with a dead wife and baby.

After a few minutes of sitting quietly and allowing himself to be held, John spoke into her shoulder, "And after that, he stopped getting close to people?"

Cameron's hesitation was longer this time. Long enough for John to pull back and look at her curiously. Though Cameron was, as always, outwardly calm, inside she was conflicted. There was one more terrible secret, and she was afraid John would hate her if she told him.

He looked deep in her eyes, seeing something hidden there, "What is it?"

Cameron looked at him, "After his wife and child died, John distanced himself from everyone, until he met a young girl. She had no family and John took her in."

"I'm not even going to ask what my soldiers thought about him taking in a young girl," John commented with a bitter coldness.

It was for the best. Cameron had no knowledge of what John Connor's soldiers had thought about his relationship with Allison Young. Her communication program noted the odd shift in John's statement, from 'my soldiers' to 'him taking in a young girl'. John had referred to Future John both as himself and a separate person in one thought. She filed that contradiction away for later analysis.

"What was the girl's name?" John asked idly.

"Allison Young."

John nodded absently, then there was a long moment as he processed that. He looked at Cameron suspiciously. "When you malfunctioned- the second time I mean- you thought you were a human girl named Allison."

"Yes," Cameron confirmed.

John looked at her long and hard, then nodded in understanding. "She was close to John, and you were made to take her place, to get close to him so you could assassinate him," John guessed, correctly. "What happened to her?"

Cameron looked at him despairingly.

"Oh," John looked down, "You killed her."

"I'm sorry," Cameron said.

"Are you?" There was a deep sadness in his voice.

She thought about it carefully, "I'm sorry it hurt you."

"Me or him?" John asked.

Again Cameron considered the question before answering, "You."

John nodded slowly. He bit his lip in thought. Her sense of right and wrong wasn't ideal, but she was what she was. Needing to do something, and not trusting himself not to make a mistake if he spoke, he just pulled her into his arms and laid her head on his chest with his hand stroking her hair.

Cameron was reassured by John's affection, but was also confused, "You don't hate me?"

John thought about his answer before speaking, "Skynet yes, you no. I feel sorry for you, that you didn't have a choice in what it made you do."

"I don't know if I can feel guilty," she replied.

John just stroked her hair and whispered into her ear, "I feel sorry for that too." He kissed her forehead, "I accept you the way you are Cameron. I don't demand that you be perfect. Just learn from what you've done wrong."

For a long time they held each other, saying nothing.


	7. Manipulation

After the emotional upheaval that had come from Cameron's revelations about his future counterpart's tragic life had passed, John began considering what he'd learned and as a number of suspicions started assembling themselves, John felt the bottom fall out of his stomach.

The two of them had been holding each other quietly for almost a half hour as John thought about everything, and neither had spoken. Finally, John asked Cameron a question, and it seemed an odd tangent from the heavy topics they'd been discussing.

"Why are you named Cameron?"

She lifted her face from his chest and looked at him, tilting her head in her distinctive way.

"I mean," he explained, "where did you get that name? Was it from Skynet, or the resistance...?"

"Future John named me 'Cameron' on May 16th of 2027," she replied.

John nodded, "Did he name all the reprogrammed machines?"

"Most of them."

Conversationally, John asked, "What sort of names did Future John give them?"

Cameron looked at him, not really understanding the question.

"Did they have names like...Dave? Harold? Alfred?"

"No. Their names typically related to their function," Cameron answered. Seeing he needed examples, Cameron explained, "A machine that was assigned to maintenance might be named 'Fixit' or 'Tinker', and machines assigned to security were given names like 'Galahad' or 'Sentinel'."

John nodded, "And when did he start telling you about his life?"

"May 16th of 2027," Cameron replied.

"The same day he gave you your name."

"Yes," she confirmed.

"Does the name 'Cameron' have anything to do with the tasks you were given?" he asked.

Cameron considered for a moment, "It means 'crooked nose'."

John laughed, "I'll take that as a no."

"No," she confirmed.

"And one more question;" John said, "when we jumped forward eight years, was that your idea or Future John's?"

"Future John's."

That was it. It was like the last piece of a Rubik's cube sliding into place, all the colors matching. John didn't know whether to laugh or rage. So he did both.

Laughing, he howled, "That manipulative son of a bitch!"

Confused, Cameron tilted her head, "John?"

John felt the humor at his realization fading faster than the anger. He looked at Cameron and stood up, "Don't you see what he did to us?"

Cameron thought about John's question. Obviously the 'he' was Future John. But she didn't understand what John thought he had done to them, that he would find both humorous and infuriating.

"I don't understand," Cameron admitted.

John took a breath to calm down, "Future John," he began, "lost his wife and child and became a bitter, lonely man. So the time comes to send his teenaged self- me- a protector, and he chooses to send his lonely, awkward, friendless, hormonal, teenaged self a reprogrammed Terminator who looks like a pretty teenaged girl. He spent all that time telling you about my life so that we'd form that connection. It's just like Kyle- he wasn't being Kyle's friend, he just needed to prepare Kyle to fall in love with my mother. He sent me a bullet-proof girl who can't get pregnant or die in childbirth. You said that a reprogrammed Terminator's name is based on its function, but he named you 'Cameron', and I'm pretty sure crooked nose isn't your function. But Cameron is also an anagram of 'romance'."

Cameron mentally confirmed that last part. Her name was indeed an anagram for romance. Was John correct about Future John's motives?

"And," John continued, "he had to make sure that I wouldn't still end up with Kate Brewster anyway, so," John clapped his hands together, "we time jump eight years. Very few women in their mid-twenties want to date 16 year olds. Not unless they want to end up on CNN." John laughed at his own joke.

Cameron wasn't certain if the time jump was part of Future John's supposed plan for her and John or not, but then she had information John didn't, about Sarah's cancer risk. Should she tell John about that? She filed that subject for later analysis.

"You think Future John intended for you and I to have a romantic relationship." Cameron summarized.

While he'd been laying out his theory, John had been pacing rather frantically. Now, he paused and looked at her. "Don't you?"

She thought about it, "I'm not certain. Your theory does fit the available evidence, but it could be circumstantial."

"I suppose," John frowned.

Cameron looked down at her hands for a moment before looking at John, "Does it upset you if this is his plan?"

Seeing her uncertainty, John moved to sit with her. He put his hands on her cheeks and gave her a kiss. "Not about being with you. Never that. That we were tricked, yes. Wouldn't it bother you?"

"No," she replied.

John tried to explain why it bothered him, "It's like...he thinks my life is a story and when he doesn't like something in it, he just fires up the time machine and edits it. And I don't get a say in it. I feel...violated."

Cameron processed this for a moment, before responding, "He reprogrammed me."

That took the fire out of John's argument, "Okay, I admit, you've got more room to complain about him than me. Doesn't that bother you?"

She frowned, "If he hadn't reprogrammed me, I would either have been destroyed or I would still be trying to kill you, or I would have succeeded in killing you. My being reprogrammed is by far the most desirable outcome."

John sat back, not enjoying thinking about any of those possibilities. She had a valid point, and he was having a hard time arguing against it, "You're right. This outcome is better than if he hadn't interfered. But the road to Hell is paved with good intentions."

Cameron thought about that, then tilted her head in confusion, "Isn't this the opposite though?"

"What do you mean," John was puzzled.

She explained, "If I understand the expression correctly, 'the road to Hell is paved with good intentions' means that actions taken for good reasons can have bad outcomes. Is that correct?"

He nodded, "Yeah. Basically."

"Then isn't this a case of bad actions- manipulation- leading to a good outcome?"

John hadn't considered that, and her response surprised him. He had to admit he'd underestimated her capability for philosophical introspection. "Maybe. Does that make it right though?"

Cameron looked down shamefully, "I am not be the best person to judge right and wrong."

He was taken back to his earlier thoughts about her sense of right and wrong being less than ideal. Maybe she really was learning from her mistakes. He put his arm around her and laid her head on his shoulder, "Maybe not, but maybe the fact that you're thinking about it is a step in the right direction. Do you know what they say about wisdom?"

Cameron thought about it. She was uncertain what they said about wisdom. Also, who are 'they'? She filed the latter question for later analysis. "What?"

"The beginning of wisdom is 'I don't know'." John kissed her temple.

Returning to the subject, John frowned for a moment, then had an idea, "What if he'd set things up for me to get together with Riley instead of you?"

Cameron made a sour face, "I see."

John smirked at her reaction, "Or hey, you and Derek?"

Cameron's eyes narrowed at John, as her sour face increased in intensity, "You've made your point."

John was now laughing outright, "Oh wait, I know. You and Riley. Yeah, you'd make a cute couple!"

She grabbed John by the shoulders with firm cybernetic strength and raised her voice just enough that he would recognize she had done it, "Stop attempting to be funny."

John bit the inside of his cheek, "Alright alright. I'm sorry. I obviously took things too far."

Cameron nodded.

John considered thoughtfully for a moment, "Oh! What about you and mom..."

He never even saw the pillow coming.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Notes to readers:

1. Chapters 6 and 7 were originally going to be one chapter, but as the length increased and the tone became so uneven between them (Chapter 6 is a plunging abyss, while 7 is a climb back out) it only made sense to split them into two chapters.

2. My thoughts on the various characters and how I write them;

a. John is very difficult to write. He's either angst-ridden, or he's the kid from Malcolm in the Middle. John doesn't have a distinct 'voice' that I've found for him (I think the writers of the show had the same issue at times), so he ends up being a slightly blank everyman point of view character. The definable character traits he does have; he's moody, but he's intuitive, pessimistic but idealistic, and he's open-minded, quick-witted, and unorthodox.

b. For Cameron, I go with the idea that there are basically three aspects to her personality; jealous, moody teenage girl, endearing, curious six year old, and ruthless sociopath, and everything she says, thinks, or does comes out of one or more of those three places. That seems to work.

c. Sarah and Derek (and to some extent, Riley) are too easy to write. Their characters easily descend into either tragedy or self-parody. Sarah being pissed off and obsessive, Derek being a crude drunken ogre, Riley being a shallow idiot, etc. It's hard to do much with them without treating them like a prop.


	8. Guilty

John and Cameron came back downstairs and John noticed his mother giving them a suspicious look.

"You two were upstairs- alone- for quite a while," Sarah began.

"We were just talking," John replied.

"'Just talking'?" Sarah asked, an eyebrow raised.

"Mom!" John was annoyed, "We're not going to break...that rule...the first day, if that's what you're worried about."

Sarah held her hands up in mock surrender, "Okay, John. I'm your mom- nagging comes with the territory. So what were you two 'talking about' all this time?"

John looked awkwardly at Cameron and took her hand, hesitating to answer for a moment. Cameron saw this and endeavored to help him, "We were discussing 'Future John' and the circumstances of my being sent back to protect John."

"Anything I need to know?" Sarah asked, her voice moving from mothering John to seriousness.

John looked at Cameron again for a long moment, uncertain, "Actually, there is something I need to tell you about in case something like it happens again," John paused, knowing his mother was likely to react negatively to this, "A few weeks ago, Cameron had a...glitch."

At the word 'glitch', Sarah's eyes narrowed and her face hardened, "What kind of glitch? Did she...?"

Anticipating her concern, John quickly clarified, "Not that kind of glitch. She didn't hurt me or try to hurt me. She didn't even know who I was. She didn't know who she was."

Her worry partially replaced with curiosity, Sarah asked him, "What do you mean she didn't know who she was?"

John looked to Cameron and motioned for her to explain, "I was grocery shopping when my system suffered a major file error as a result of damage to my chip. I believed I was a human girl named Allison Young. I was not aware of being a machine."

John added his part of the story, "I spent most of the day tracking her down until she finally remembered who she was."

Cameron added, "And what."

Sarah took an annoyed deep breath, "Okay, is there anything else I need to know about that?"

John shook his head, but Cameron announced quietly, "I hurt John."

Sarah's eyes widened and she clenched her fists, digging her nails into her palms, "What do you mean you hurt him?"

"She didn't," John cut in.

"John," Sarah began in a tone that allowed no argument, "In this situation, I have a lot less faith in your honesty than I do her's." Turning back to Cameron, Sarah asked, "What do you mean you hurt John?"

Cameron answered, "I shoved him against a wall."

John attempted to explain, "I found her in a house for homeless teens. She didn't know who she was or where she lived, and she was playing foosball when I stormed in and tried telling her that she was a malfunctioning robot and she needed to come with me. I scared her and she pushed me away. I don't think I even got a bruise."

"You scared her?" Sarah asked, clearly considering that unlikely.

"Well," John admitted, "I guess technically I scared 'Allison'," John made air-quotes. "It was no big deal. You've been rougher with me than she was."

"Okay," Sarah said, "but who is Allison?"

John bit his lip, "She was...someone Future John knew."

Cameron told Sarah what she had alread told John, about him taking in a young girl and how it led to Cameron's creation.

Sarah ran her fingers through her hair. "You killed that girl and you don't feel anything about it," she accused Cameron.

"That isn't her fault," John angrily defended her.

Sarah looked at John evenly, "No it isn't. She can't help what she is. But that doesn't make it okay."

"I don't care what she is!" John stood up, raising his voice.

There was a long silence, until finally Sarah replied, "I'm not talking about her being a machine."

The look of anger on John's face turned to confusion.

"What are you talking about?" John asked.

Sarah looked down, running her hands over her knees, not enjoying this confrontation.

"She's talking about me being a killer," Cameron explained.

"Oh," John said quietly, the fire taken out of him, as he collapsed back on the couch next to Cameron.

After a moment, John's expression hardened. He looked at Sarah, "You don't seem to have these concerns when I spend time with Derek. He's as much a killer as she is."

"I do actually," Sarah said seriously, "and you're not dating Derek."

John made an unpleasant face. Cameron said into his ear, "Maybe you should hit her with a pillow."

Sarah continued, "...but it's not even about her being a killer. We've all...we've all done things we aren't proud of. I was there when she killed those boys in the bowling alley, and I didn't say a word."

"You...did what you thought was right," John offered weakly.

"No," Sarah corrected, "I did what I thought was necessary under the circumstances. It's not the same thing John."

"I'm not innocent," the fire had returned to John's eyes, "I killed Sarkissian."

"And look how much it hurt you!" Sarah implored. "But she doesn't care about the people she kills. She doesn't lose sleep about it."

"I don't sleep," Cameron affirmed.

Sarah glanced at her in annoyance, "See? She doesn't feel anything about it."

Cameron spoke up, "I feel sorry that it upset John."

"She's 'sorry that it upset you'," mocked Sarah.

"I thought you were okay with our relationship?" John asked.

Sarah made a frustrated noise, "I'm not even within driving distance of 'okay' with it. But whatever you think, this has nothing to do with her being a machine or whatever prejudices I may have about that. This is like you're dating a serial killer."

"Do you think you can convince me not to be with her?" John asked coldly.

She sighed, running both hands across her forehead, "No I don't. I'm not even sure I'm trying to." At John's surprised expression, Sarah continued, "But there are real problems with it and I want you to see that."

John narrowed his eyes, "So you're okay with us being together, as long as I'm unhappy."

Cameron looked from John to Sarah and back to John in concern. It gave her a feeling she now recognized as frustration when they fought like this. As was often the case, both of them were essentially correct in their arguments, but were assigning different significance to the relevant variables. Both of them had a tendency, when confronted with difficulties, to assume an offensive posture. In the future, John used that personality trait to great effect, leading successful operations against Skynet at times and places where Skynet's own tactical logic insisted no attack could or should take place. But here, Cameron realized, that same instinct to assault a stronger opponent was in danger of emotionally damaging both John and Sarah. She also felt uncomfortable that she was the subject of their argument. While she considered this, one of her processes noted that, while John had taken her side against his mother before, this was the first time she had felt bad about it, and she filed that for later consideration, while another registered the irony that she felt guilty over an argument about whether she could feel guilty.

She also recognized another of General John Connor's behaviors emerging in her John- in the future, John would often encourage his men by berating them. He would be as harshly abrasive as possible. He didn't care if they became angry with him, or even if they struck him, so long as their anger and focus got them through whatever task he had to demand of them. She concluded it was likely one of the reasons why John's men admired him greatly, but so few of them liked him. It was likely another tactic he learned from his mother- getting someone to pay attention by 'twisting the knife'. Cameron decided that it was unnecessary for John to instill that kind of admiration in Sarah, and that she would intervene before the argument went too far.

"John," Cameron placed her hand on his shoulder, gently pulling him back on the couch, "Sarah isn't attacking you or me. Even though you disagree with her, she loves you and is only attempting to protect you from getting hurt." Both John and Sarah were left speechless at Cameron's interruption. Before either could find their voice, Cameron turned to Sarah, "Sarah, you are correct that I do not have or understand morality as you do. I am not sure I want to, except that John thinks I should- John is my only priority, and I don't want another one. I love John, and I will do whatever is best for him- I will try to be moral because it will hurt him if I don't, and I will look to John and to you to help me know what is right."

John and Sarah took in Cameron's speech, rarely having heard her say something so forthrightly, John hung his head, feeling like an ass. Sarah was the first to recover enough to speak.

"I want you to be happy John, but I..." Sarah paused to think for a moment, "I don't want you hurt, and that's what's going to happen if you think she's something she's not."

John heard the understanding in Sarah's voice, and sat back on the couch, taking in what she'd said more thoughtfully. He looked at Cameron, who was looking at him expectantly. He ran his hand along her cheek, and then took her hand, before looking back at his mother.

"I'm not blind mom. I know she's done things that...I wouldn't like, and I know she's not perfect. She has a lot of things she needs to learn. She's only recently become an independent person, without directives controlling who she was. Cameron's still developing into who she's going to be," John responded solemnly. John smiled softly, "I think she's already surprising us."

Sarah nodded, "What if you don't like who she becomes?"

John shrugged, "I'm only sixteen. What if she doesn't like who I become?"

"Point taken," Sarah nodded. She paused for a moment, "John..."

He cut her off, "I'm sorry...that I lost my temper. Cameron was right- I saw a threat where there wasn't one and I lashed out at you."

Sarah smirked, "I taught you to be a fighter John." She shrugged, "It's who we are."


	9. Confrontation

The next morning John, Cameron, and Sarah gathered around the table for breakfast. Cameron had prepared breakfast this morning instead of Sarah, explaining that John needed a wider variety in his diet. Sarah would have been annoyed at the implied criticism, were she not well aware of her own incapability in that regard.

Both Sarah and John had expected some healthy grain cereal, or maybe instant oatmeal, but woke up instead to find scrambled eggs, biscuits, croissants, bacon, sausage, orange juice, milk, and toast.

"This...is a lot of breakfast." John commented, amazed.

Cameron smiled, "I wasn't sure what you would prefer, so I made a several traditional breakfast foods. You can sample a little of each and tell me which ones you like."

"Thank you, Cameron. I'm just happy to have something that's not pancakes." John replied, earning a glare from Sarah, "Don't look at me like that. You feel the same way."

Sarah was alternating between a biscuit and shoveling eggs into her mouth. "John, I don't care that she's a machine- I don't care what the laws of man or God say- marry her. Marry her now," Sarah teased.

John was filling up a plate while eating a croissant, "Cam, this is really good. I didn't know you knew how to cook."

Cameron beamed at John and Sarah's appreciation.

Sarah stopped eating and asked pointedly, "Why didn't we know you could cook?"

John frowned, humor in his eyes, "This is going to be one of those 'you didn't ask' things isn't it?"

Cameron watched enough TV while everyone else was asleep to get John's joke and grinned, "I didn't know how to cook until last night."

"You learned to cook in one night while we were asleep?" Sarah asked, surprised.

"I downloaded a number of recipes, learned basic culinary theory, and ran simulations until I was satisfied with the methodology. It proved more difficult than I expected, and required real world testing," Cameron pointed at the trash can. John peered inside and saw a number of biscuits and strips of bacon that appeared to have not gone according to plan.

"I think you've mastered the skill," John said, covering his mouth to speak around the food he was eating, "How many recipes did you download?"

"Two-thousand, seven-hundred, forty-six," she replied casually.

John's eyes bulged, "I don't think I could eat that many meals in the rest of my life."

Cameron frowned, "Assuming three meals a day, that's only two years, six months, and three days."

John laughed, "Most people eat the same meal more than once. But I appreciate the effort you went to Cameron. This is really good." He looked at his family enjoying breakfast, his mother and his new girlfriend and best friend, currently nibbling on a sausage. It was such a peaceful and worry-free moment that John tried to drink it in and save it in his memory.

It wasn't long before the moment was shattered by John's phone ringing. He saw Riley's name and frowned nervously. That was a conversation he couldn't put off much longer. He hit 'talk', almost forgetting to tap the date code. "Hey Riley." Both Cameron and Sarah were watching intently. Instead of going in the other room like he had the last time she called, he sat back down at the table and continued eating.

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry Riley- something came up," John gave Cameron a tentative smile. "We should talk. Can we meet? Now? Okay. The park by your house? Alright. See you then."

"You're going to talk to her now?" Cameron asked.

John nodded, "Yeah. She didn't want to wait. I shouldn't be too long. Maybe an hour."

"I'm going with you," Cameron insisted.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea...," John bit his lip, trying to explain to Cameron why he should do this alone. She didn't say anything. She just crossed her arms and stared back, raising one eyebrow. "Are you afraid I'll chicken out of telling her?" John asked nervously.

"Yes," Cameron replied without hesitation or inflection. "Also, Sarah's second rule requires us to be together at all times, and seven percent of all break-ups result in physical assault by the jilted party against their former partner. My protection protocols consider anything above one percent unacceptable."

John narrowed his eyes at her skeptically, "You're making that last one up."

Cameron smirked at him, "You can't prove that. And it's a reasonable policy."

John sighed, weighing whether or not he could convince her to let him go alone. Finally shrugging, he decided to just let her have her way, "Alright, you can come. But you have to be nice to her. She's probably going to be upset enough as it is, seeing as I'm dumping her for someone she thought was my sister."

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all'," Cameron quoted with a grin, "I believe I can manage at least one of those."

John smiled, taking hold of her hands and giving her a peck on the lips, "Okay, let's go."

Arriving at the park, they saw Riley leaning against a picnic table. She smiled at him, then frowned and glared when she saw Cameron with him. John groaned internally; they hadn't even started talking and it was already going downhill.

"Hi John. I've missed you. Cameron. How are you?" Riley perfunctorily greeted Cameron.

"I'm fine," Cameron replied with a small smile, which Riley found unusual. It might have put her on guard if she had paid more attention. John did notice, and restrained himself from rolling his eyes. Stony as she might seem to most people, John was starting to know her well enough to realize that that half-smile was Cameron's equivalent of sticking her tongue out at Riley and chanting 'Nya nya nya nya I won and you lost'.

Riley moved to kiss John, but he stopped her, "Riley...we need to talk."

"About what?" She asked impatiently.

"We need to stop seeing each other. I'm sorry Riley. We can be friends if you want, but nothing more," John forced out bluntly.

Riley pouted, putting her hand on John's arm, "I told you before, John; I reject your rejection."

John pushed her hand away, "I'm serious Riley. I'm sorry. I don't feel that way about you."

Her expression soured, and she looked from John to Cameron, "You don't feel that way about ME? You can't be serious. That's sick! You're dumping me to be with one of them?"

"Riley, look I know..." John stopped, blinking in surprise, as he realized what Riley had said. The original plan he'd had in mind was to give her the cover story his mother had come up with, that Cameron was actually the daughter of a close family friend, and not his sister, and that there'd always been something between them, which was why he could no longer be with Riley, but Riley had just derailed that plan. His eyes narrowed in suspicion, "One of who? One of who, Riley? What is it you think Cameron is?"

She realized she'd given herself away, but she still tried to salvage her position. "Well...you said she was your sister," Riley explained unconvincingly.

Cameron had shifted from passive spectator to full Terminator mode. She pushed John behind her protectively and advanced on Riley, who backed away from her trembling.

"Your pulse and respiration indicate fear and stress. You're afraid of me, Riley. Why are you afraid of me?" Cameron said in a monotone.

Riley, nearly panicking at the change in Cameron's behavior, turned to run away from her, but Cameron's hand struck out like a snake, catching her wrist in an unbreakable grasp. Riley tried to pry Cameron's fingers off her, but couldn't budge them. John looked around, seeing that no one was around watching their altercation.

"John I don't know what's going on," Riley insisted.

"Lie," Cameron informed him.

"I swear I don't know anything!"

"Lie," Cameron repeated.

John looked at Riley with a mix of sadness and anger at her apparent betrayal, "What's going on Riley? What do you know about Cameron?"

"I don't know!"

"Lie," Cameron repeated, again.

"I'm not lying!" Riley screamed at them both.

John preempted what he knew Cameron was about to say, "Lie." His voice carried a deep disappointment.

"Yes", Cameron confirmed.

"Let me go!" Riley screamed in Cameron's face, causing no reaction at all. Looking to John, she pleaded, "John! She's hurting me! Please make her let me go!"

John paused for a moment, then gave Cameron a meaningful look. "She doesn't really listen to me Riley. I mean, sometimes I can get her to do what I want, but in a situation like this she just does what she wants. I can't stop her."

Cameron frowned, confused at John's words. If he wanted her to let Riley go, she would, albeit under protest. Then she realized that John was playing 'Good cop, bad cop' with Riley. She was the bad cop.

Still holding Riley's wrist with one hand, she placed the other on Riley's throat, squeezing just hard enough to make her intention clear, "You are a threat to John. I have to terminate you." While most of the sentence was delivered without inflection, she placed extra emphasis on the word 'terminate'.

"I'm not a threat to you! I'm not!" Riley insisted. She wasn't talking to Cameron.

John shook his head, "Don't look at me. You're in her hands. Explain it to her." He knew it was a little cruel, but the last thing he wanted was for her to try to play on his emotions. They were more likely to get the truth if Riley thought she was dealing with an objective killing machine. Which was mostly true, except that Cameron wasn't as objective as he once thought.

Riley addressed Cameron awkwardly, "I'm not here to hurt John. I came back to help save him."

"Save him from what?" Cameron demanded. When Riley didn't answer, she pressed her thumb in half a millimeter on Riley's throat. That soon forced an answer from her.

"You!" Riley screeched in her face, "You! I'm here to save him from you!"

Cameron frowned at this answer, both confused and concerned. She released Riley, but was prepared to subdue her again if the girl made any motion either to escape or to harm John.

John grasped the bridge of his nose in concentration, doing his best to be gentle but firm as he spoke, "Okay, Riley, here's what we're going to do. We're going back to my house- all three of us. We're going to sit down and have a long talk about who you are and what you've been up to, and you're going to give us the whole story from the beginning. I think it's pretty clear that you know what Cameron is and what she's capable of. You're not going to try and run away or make a scene on the way back there, or she'll deal with it. Please don't make her do that. No one's going to hurt you and nothing's going to happen to you so long as you tell us the truth. Alright?"

Riley nodded, on the verge of crying, as she realized she didn't have a lot of options.

'No one's going to hurt you and nothing's going to happen to you so long as you tell us the truth', Cameron thought about John's words. That depends on what the truth turns out to be, she thought darkly. Her left hand clenched involuntarily.


	10. Relationship

"John, I know you're mad at me...," Riley began, only to have John shake his head and cut her off.

"Not now Riley. Just...not now. Today we're talking about what your plan was. That's all we're talking about today."

Riley had the decency to look ashamed at her duplicity, but persisted in asking, "Today?"

John let out a tired sigh, before nodding slowly, "Today. We can talk about...anything else some other time."

Cameron felt a sharp spike of displeasure at John's implication that he might be willing to forgive Riley at some future time. "She lied to you," Cameron pointed out petulantly.

John nodded painfully, "She did."

'Oh', Cameron realized, "I lied to you."

"Yeah you did." Closing his eyes for a moment and running a hand through his hair, he looked at her, seeing her unease, "Look, Cameron, I'm not mad at you. It's just...Riley, you, mom, Derek...future John...I wish I knew why everyone who claims to expect so much from me seems to expect so little from me."

Cameron was uncertain how to respond, and went for a default response, "I'm sorry."

John shook his head, "I'm not blaming you or looking for an apology. I just want to know when people will stop lying to me and start trusting me."

"I don't have an answer for you," she replied.

John gave a sad little smile, "at least you're honest."

Cameron considered for a moment, before telling him, "I trust you."

That brought a genuine smile to John's face, "Thank you Cameron. You have no idea how much that means to me."

"I have some idea."

John nodded, taking her hand and squeezing it in appreciation, "Come on. Let's go."

As John, Cameron, and Riley approached the Connor family SUV, Cameron's tactical system considered various seating arrangements both for securing the prisoner (Riley), and protecting John's safety. Arriving at the optimal configuration, she announced, "John, you'll drive. I'll sit behind you. Riley will sit next to me in the back seat." At John's confused expression, she explained, "It's safest."

"Alright," John agreed.

They drove in silence for a few minutes, John clearly brooding, Riley smartly keeping quiet, and Cameron dividing her attention between assuring Riley behaved herself and her concern for John's emotional state. Her files on human psychology suggested that attempting to distract him with an unrelated topic would improve his mood, and there was something that she had been wondering about for several hours.

"Why would I see kitties if I looked at you long enough?" Cameron asked.

There was a long pause as John processed her question, before he asked "What?"

"Why would I see kitties if I looked at you long enough?" she repeated.

John turned as much as he was able while keeping his attention on the road to glance at her, his face screwed up in confusion. Cameron analyzed his expression, also noticing that Riley was now regarding her with a strangely wary expression. Realizing the non sequitur nature of her question, Cameron rushed to assure him, "I'm not experiencing a glitch. Sarah asked me if I see kitties if I stare at you long enough. I don't understand."

"My mother, Sarah Connor, used the word 'kitties'? When?" John realized too late that he'd used his mother's real name in front of Riley, and his eyes slid to her, but he saw no reaction or surprise on her part, adding more evidence that she was aware of their real identity.

"Last night." Cameron elaborated, "You were asleep, I was watching you sleep. Your mother came into your room and watched you for five minutes, eighteen seconds, then she watched me watch you sleep for three minutes, forty-six seconds. Then she asked me if I stare at you long enough, do I see kitties? Was she using a figure of speech?"

John's brow worked as he tried to figure out what his mother had been talking about, before scoffing in frustration, "I wonder if mom is having a glitch."

Cameron considered John's theory, realizing that John's reference to his mother having a glitch was figurative, as Sarah Connor is not a machine. "Perhaps the stress of recent events has had a negative impact on Sarah's mental stability," she suggested, before frowning and adding, "John, if Sarah is having hallucinations- seeing immature domestic felines when she looks at you- she could be dangerous. I have seen on tv that people often chase unwanted mammals out of a household with a broom."

"Uh, I don't think she's hallucinating Cameron. We're probably just missing something."

"When we return to the house, I will secure any weapons or objects Sarah could use to injure you until we determine that she is not a threat."

Riley snickered at Cameron's wide-eyed concern, causing Cameron to direct a harsh two-word command at her, "Be quiet!"

The harsh change in her voice caused John to twitch in surprise, "It's kind of disturbing when you do that."

"Do what?" she asked.

"That change from normal conversation to 'Terminator intimidation mode'."

Tilting her head in confusion, Cameron replied, "I am a Terminator."

Smiling slightly, John replied, "I know, it's just a little jarring."

Cameron considered this, and mentally replayed John's startlement, "I will endeavor not to shift verbal tone so abruptly in the future."

John nodded, then after a moment he began chewing his lip, "Don't do that."

"Don't do what?"

"Don't try to change your behavior just to please me. Not about something that doesn't matter. I like you the way you are." John grinned, "I'm sure I've got a few habits that get on your nerves."

Cameron smiled at John's declaration that he liked her the way she is, before responding to his latter statement. She did not actually have human 'nerves' to be bothered by John's habits, either literally or figuratively, but she understood the expression and she was capable of experiencing annoyance. "Yes. You have many annoying qualities," she confirmed.

Rather than being put off by her blunt assessment, John smirked sheepishly, "Well, when I do one of them, let me know, and I'll try to stop."

Cameron processed John's words before frowning, "Why are you supposed to change your annoying habits, but I am not?"

"Um...well...," John tried to find a good explanation, before stating without confidence, "Because I'm the guy."

"Yes, you are male and I am female," Cameron confirmed, before frowning again, "I don't understand."

John realized that this was one of those times when he was lucky his girlfriend was a machine, as 'because I'm the guy' probably wouldn't have gone over well with a human woman. John had extremely limited experience with relationships, and Cameron was perhaps the one person on Earth more socially inexperienced than himself, so as he struggled to explain this to her, it was a case of the blind leading the blind.

"Okay, Cameron, it's not a good thing, but it's called the double-standard. It's...just expected that men and women in a relationship show their affection for each other in different ways." Pausing for a moment, he added, "Of course, every relationship is different, but in general men are expected to do certain things for their girlfriends, and women do other, different, things for their boyfriends."

"Are we talking about sex?" Cameron asked, causing John to redden.

"No!" he blurted, before thinking about it, "well, maybe, but that's not what I'm talking about. One of the things men are supposed to do is to improve themselves for their girlfriends."

"Girlfriends aren't supposed to improve themselves?" Cameron asked.

"Well...," John considered her question, "of course everyone should always want to improve themselves. It's just that a man's affection for his girlfriend is supposed to be a major motivation for him to do so." John frowned, "It's sexist and old-fashioned, but it's still expected that a man should be able to take care of his girlfriend and protect her. Even if she can take care of herself, he's supposed to be able to...back her up," John floundered, unsatisfied with his explanation.

Cameron absorbed this explanation, before asking, "How should girlfriends show their boyfriends affection?"

John tried to force his mind away from the hormonally influenced thoughts her innocent question brought to mind, and give her a real answer, "Um...I guess that depends on the girlfriend. Remember I said that every relationship is different? Like...oh...what you did this morning, when you made me breakfast. That's a good example."

"Making you food?" Cameron asked. John wasn't sure if he heard a note of dissatisfaction in her voice, or if it was just his discomfort with the conversation causing him to imagine it.

"No- you're not my housekeeper or my maid, you're my girlfriend. I mean that you were caring about my well-being and happiness."

There was a minute of silence as Cameron processed John's explanation. Just when he was beginning to think that she was satisfied and the subject was finished, she discovered a flaw in his logic and spoke up.

"But John, I take care of and protect you. I'm your protector. This is sensible as I'm significantly stronger and more physically capable than you are."

John frowned, realizing that she had a point. 'How did I lose control of this conversation?' he thought. "That's...a good example of how relationships differ. You'll always protect me because you're my protector- well, and because you care about me- and I'll always wish I could be the one protecting you." She smiled at his words, understanding.

John remembered their captive audience, and glanced over at Riley, uncomfortable at having had this conversation in front of his now ex-girlfriend. He was glad to see her looking out the window, pointedly disinterested in him and Cameron.

He finished his thought, "Most girlfriends aren't their boyfriend's bodyguard...or Terminators."

As soon as John said it, he snapped his fingers in realization, "Like a screen saver! Because you're like a computer!"

"Oh!" Cameron and Riley said in unison, then looked at each other and frowned.


	11. Orders

Arriving back home, John led the way, followed by Riley, with Cameron shadowing closely behind her. Sarah saw the look of tension on John's face, the mission-focused look on Cameron's, and Riley's discomfort. "What's going on?" she asked, frowning.

"Riley knows what Cameron is," John explained.

Sarah's face hardened, and she looked at John pointedly.

He read her expression clearly, and waved her off, "Don't look at me. I didn't tell her."

"Riley is from the future," Cameron clarified.

Sarah looked Riley over speculatively. "She doesn't look like a soldier," Sarah noted dismissively.

"Skynet has human servants called 'Grays'. It may have sent some of them into the past...the present," Cameron corrected.

"I'm not a Gray," Riley said.

Both Sarah and John ignored her, "Why would a human work for Skynet?" Sarah asked.

"Power, material comforts, the hope that Skynet will spare them if it wins the war," Cameron offered.

John looked like he was becoming nauseous, "You think she might be a Gray?"

"She has lied to us and is clearly not a Resistance Fighter. All known Time Displacement Equipment except for Tech-Com's are controlled by machines. It is therefore the most likely explanation."

"I'm not a gray!" Riley said loudly enough to get their attention.

Cameron looked at her indifferently, "Prove it."

Riley searched her brain, before the obvious counter-argument occurred to her, "Skynet wouldn't send John a girlfriend!...at least not a human one," Riley muttered the insinuation, and John's face hardened when he realized what she meant, though Cameron looked as if she didn't care what Riley thought. "Anyone who worked for Skynet would try to kill John. I helped protect him from that Terminator that was hunting him," Riley asserted.

Cameron distastefully realized that Riley had a point, but was unwilling to let it go entirely, "You could be observing us and relaying information to an assassin or assassins, to increase the chance of success of a planned attack, or you could be insinuating yourself into his circle to strike at him at a critical time, or you could be a Gray who was sent back by Skynet, but is now operating on her own agenda, against Skynet's wishes."

"I guess you'd know about things like that- how to get close to someone and kill them," Riley retorted.

"Enough!" Sarah stopped their back and forth, "whatever she is, we need to know what she's doing here and if there's anyone else with her."

Riley slumped down on the couch with her arms crossed, her jaw set. Apparently in trading insults with Cameron she'd found some courage.

John sighed. He'd been hoping she'd be easier than this, "Cameron can act as a lie detector, but we have to get her to talk first."

"I can make her talk," Cameron suggested. She said it casually, but it sent a wave of discomfort up John's spine.

Sarah shook her head, "We're not beating it out of her."

Cameron turned to Sarah, "In the future, John often uses reprogrammed machines to perform interrogations on traitors."

"Why?" John asked with morbid curiosity.

"A human interrogator might sympathize with a human traitor, showing mercy or compassion," she explained.

Sarah looked disgusted, "And you wouldn't?"

John shook his head in a peculiar sort of self-loathing- didn't his future self see that that would just alienate his soldiers against their machine allies, or did he just not care?

"No, I wouldn't," Cameron answered Sarah's question, before looking sidelong at John, afraid of his reaction to her blunt response, but he was preoccupied with something else.

"You're not touching her until I say so, do you understand me?" Sarah asked Cameron.

Cameron seemed to stiffen, becoming more machine-like, "I don't take orders from you, I take orders from John."

John saw the tension in Cameron's stance, and her left hand starting to twitch, and he realized what he was seeing; rage. Cameron was pissed off. This wasn't just a problem to the mission to her, and to himself as well he realized. It was someone making a personal attack on the two of them and their relationship. And his mother was putting herself in the path of Hurricane Cameron. A tiny worried voice in the back of his head, that ironically sounded a lot like Sarah Connor, forced him to remember that no matter how they felt about each other, Cameron was still an incredibly dangerous war machine made to destroy humans. And his mom wasn't the type to back down from anyone...until Cameron makes her back down, unless he could get Cameron to back down first.

John put his hands on Cameron's shoulders, sliding them forward until he was hugging her from behind. He kissed her neck gently, and spoke quietly into her ear, "We'll do whatever we have to do to protect ourselves, right Sweetie? But we're not going to kill anyone just because we're mad, right? Just because they don't like us? We don't need to do that. They're not worth it, right?"

"But not this John?" Sarah repeated what Cameron had said over a year earlier about her allegiance, with a challenging sneer.

Without breaking eye contact with Sarah, Cameron moved her hands to thread her fingers with John's, before answering her, "No, this one now."

As the tension flowed out of the room, John had a look of surprise on his face, "When did that happen?"

Cameron turned to face him, keeping their hands together, for the first time noticing his elevated stress levels, and she looked contrite as she realized how her out of control anger had frightened him. "I thought about what you said the other night, about how Future John manipulated both of us, and I realized you are correct," she explained.

"Thought that didn't bother you?" he inquired.

She considered her reply, "It doesn't bother me, but I decided that since I have the ability to make my own decisions now, and that there are things that I want," she looked meaningfully at John, "then my loyalty should go to the one I trust. Future John has information you don't, which may give him an advantage in making the correct decision at times, but Future John is deceitful and manipulative, whereas you consider my well-being and that of those around you. It is most advantageous to us if I am loyal to the one most deserving of my loyalty in the present."

"So...," John considered what she'd said, "even though he may be smarter than me, I'm more trustworthy?"

"He's not smarter than you," Cameron corrected with a frown, "he just has more experience, and If I had meant that you are only 'more trustworthy', then I would have said that. What I said was 'most deserving'."

John grinned at her teasingly, "And here I thought it was just because you love me."

Cameron kissed him, and replied seriously, "I loved you long before I trusted you." She glanced at Riley pointedly.

"Point taken," John looked abashed, "Is Future John really that different from me?"

"Yes," Cameron answered, "In many ways, you will need to learn those things. Other things I don't want you to learn. It would...damage you."

"Give me an example," John asked of her.

Cameron tilted her head in confusion.

John elaborated, "Give me an example of a decision or an order that Future John would make that you don't think I would ever make. Well, never make as I am now, I mean."

He saw the hesitation in her eyes, and stroked the backs of her hands with his thumbs, "I promise I won't get upset at you, and I'll try not to blame myself. I'm expecting you to tell me something that will horrify me. That's part of the point, isn't it? So I learn from it and don't become that guy? Honesty, right?"

She paused for a second, and both of them noticed Sarah and Riley looking on with curiosity, "John gave me standing orders, under certain circumstances, I am to immediately terminate Sarah Connor."

John, Sarah, and even Riley looked shocked and horrified that John would, at some future point in his life, order her to kill his own mother.

John found his voice first, "w...Why?"

"He believed it was possible that, in certain situations, she could become a threat to your safety, in which case he wanted to insure that I would act to prevent that, regardless of whatever instructions you or her may give me," Cameron explained.

"Like what," John asked, sarcasm heavy in his voice, "he thought you needed to be ready just in case she lost her mind and started chasing me with a meat cleaver?"

"No," Cameron answered, "in that situation, I would act without the need for a special protocol."

Seeing John's puzzled look, Sarah explained it to him, with a cynical laugh, "She means that she doesn't need to be told to kill anyone who tries to hurt you, even me."

"Yes," Cameron confirmed.

John thought, still having trouble imagining that he could ever be that cold-blooded, trying to understand the reasoning, "What then?"

"If Sarah plans an operation that is likely to result in your being captured or killed, and I cannot dissuade her, or if Sarah is captured and attempting to rescue her is likely to result in your being captured or killed, and I cannot persuade you to abandon her, or if Sarah becomes disabled due to disease or injury," Cameron locked eyes with Sarah for a moment, and Sarah realized exactly what disease she was talking about, "and she becomes a liability to your safety, or if Sarah attempts to destroy me for any reason except my becoming a threat to you, and I cannot protect myself without killing her."

Sarah cut in, "So when we wanted to burn you in the junkyard, we get a free pass because you were a threat to John then?"

Cameron looked at her without emotion, "Yes."

"...but your orders are to put yourself ahead of me, in terms of importance?" Sarah couldn't help but feel a little hurt, despite John's feelings for Cameron.

"No," Cameron explained, "My orders are that John always comes first, then his most capable protector, which I am, then John's other protectors."

John considered this, "So, if another, more advanced Terminator arrives to protect me, your own orders demote you to 'other protector', and you'd be required to put that Terminator's safety ahead of your own?"

Cameron nodded, "Yes, although I would still be ahead of Sarah and Derek, as I'm more capable than they are."

Sarah gave a sarcastic 'thanks' through gritted teeth at that uncharitable analysis. Cameron ignored her.

John leaned back, taking all this in, and closed his eyes in thought, then asked Cameron, in a low voice, "Can you override these orders? The way you did the order to kill me in the junkyard?"

Cameron shrugged indifferently- John idly wondered where she'd picked that up from, "I don't know."

"No!" Sarah stated emphatically.

"Mom..."

"No John. I mean it. If I'm about to get you killed, to hell with me. I want her to do her damn job!"

Something occurred to John; he realized why Cameron had reacted so mulishly when he'd asked her if she could override her orders to kill his mother to protect him. He'd asked the wrong question.

"Would you try to override those orders?"

Cameron had been looking down since he'd asked the previous question. Now she looked directly into his eyes, apparently a little surprised that he'd caught on to her attempt to fool him so quickly. He could see on her face the calculations going on in her mind, as her eyes glanced briefly to Sarah before locking again with his. Slowly, deliberately, she answered, "No."

She seemed to flinch slightly, as John's face hardened. She explained her choice, "Only you matter."

He ran his hands through his hair, trying to keep his temper, "Dammit Cameron, I know I've got to become this great leader, and I know it's your job to keep me safe so I can do that, but how can I be any kind of leader if I can casually sacrifice the people I care the most about? I thought you didn't want me becoming that guy."

Cameron stared at him with wide eyes. "You don't understand," she practically snarled, and John realized she was right. There was something in her reaction that he was missing. He'd seen her annoyed with him lots of times, especially when he was dating Riley, but he'd never seen her overtly angry at him. His frustration with her attitude was replaced with confusion, which he saw mirrored on her face as she tried to put what she was saying into words. She instead repeated what she'd said before, "Only you matter," only this time she forcefully emphasized each word.

John was stunned as he made the connection between what she was saying now and what she'd said before about him being more deserving than Future John. She didn't care if Future John was a better leader than he was, because she didn't care about winning the war. She didn't want him to survive so he could lead humanity against Skynet, because she didn't fight for humanity. She fought for him because he was all she wanted, and she'd personally rip every human and machine apart, on both sides, with her bare hands to keep him.

"Oh Cameron," he said as he pulled her into his arms and laid her head on his shoulder, "I'm so sorry. I'm so stupid. I get it now."


	12. Five

WARNING: This chapter goes to very dark places. You have been warned.

"So...let's have a talk," Sarah said, sitting down opposite Riley. Riley simply glared back at her.

"The only thing we were able to get out of her is that she says she's here to 'save me from Cameron'," John added.

Sarah stroked her cheek in thought. "What does that mean? Does Cameron hurt him?" She asked her.

Riley worked her jaw back and forth, like she was considering whether or not to give them anything, before admitting, "I don't know."

Sarah grinded her teeth, "What do you mean you don't know?"

"I'm just a tunnel rat. I didn't have anything to do with the Resistance, and I don't know what happened," she explained.

"You expect me to believe that you traveled through time, and you don't have any idea why?"

Riley seemed to take some time and consider the question, "I wanted a better life, so I did what I was told to get here."

"Were you ever interested in me at all, or was that just an act?" John asked, trying to keep the vulnerability out of his voice, and not entirely succeeding.

She half-smiled at him, and shrugged, "I'm sorry John. You're a good guy, and I thought if I was John Connor's girl, I'd be taken care of after Judgment Day and wouldn't have to worry about finding something to eat or a safe place to sleep."

Sarah looked at Riley with a certain sort of loathing, "So who brought you here? You're obviously not the brains."

The girl just looked at her fingernails and acted as if she was bored with Sarah.

Sarah gazed at Riley calculatingly, eyes narrowed. Slyly, she said, "You know, keeping quiet now might- might- help whoever's holding your leash, but it doesn't help you at all." She let her think about that for a moment before continuing, "See, I think I know your type Riley. You're the kind of girl who's always got her hand out, asking 'What's in it for me?'. You don't do anything because it's the right thing or because of honor or obligation. It's always about a payout, isn't it? So what's your advantage in being stubborn now? What's he holding over you? Money? Blackmail?"

Seeing the insulted anger in Riley's eyes, Sarah knew she was on the right track, "Oh, I get it now," Sarah nodded knowingly, "You're in love with him, right?"

"You don't know what you're talking about!" Riley shouted at Sarah.

'Bingo', Sarah thought, "Okay, maybe you're not 'in love' with the guy who put you up to this, but you have some kind of feeling for him, don't you? You're a little too cynical for love maybe, but you think if you do a good job now here with us, you might get a little affection out of it- a little nice treatment. That's your payout."

Sarah's face hardened with a sneer, "Grow up. He pimped you out to my son. That should tell you much he cares about you; you're nothing to him but a filthy little whore!"

Riley practically snarled and threw herself at Sarah. Unfortunately for her, Sarah was a skilled and brutal brawler, and all Riley achieved for her effort was being shoved back on the couch with a bloodied lip and a reddish bruise on the side of her cheek.

Sarah smirked and ran her hand along a couple of reddened fingernail scratches Riley had given her, "Nice try, but you fight like a girl. Scratching only works if the other person is squeamish about pain. Next time try using a whole fist. John, get her some peroxide and a rag."

John handed Riley a wet rag, and she dabbed it against her lip and cheek, letting the medicine do its work.

"Now that you've got that out of your system," Sarah began calmly as if the past several minutes hadn't happened, "I bet you're thinking about what I said. You're being used Riley. So what's it going to be? Are you going to be smart or stupid?"

"You think you can judge me?" Riley muttered, so low that Sarah barely heard it. "I was five when the bombs fell. I remember my last day of kindergarten, learning about colors and circles and squares. Then everything blew up and everybody was dead. My mom had something wrong with her, and there wasn't any medicine so she died a few months later. She made me promise that I would survive and take care of myself no matter what, and that's what I do."

Riley looked at them, as if she just remembered they were there, "I didn't see a machine for the first time until a little while later. At least three times that I know about, they walked right by me and ignored me. Somebody told me later that they must have calculated their ammunition was worth more than me. Didn't know about that, did you? Skynet's soldier machines usually only bother with fighters. There are machines and sometimes people that follow behind, cleaning up any kids or old people that are left. They don't have to use guns- that'd be a waste of resources- so they use knives, clubs, bare hands, unless they want to keep the healthy ones as slaves."

"Kids like me grew up hunting rats and bugs, eating garbage. Sometimes the soldiers would give us something more to eat, but they usually wanted something for it. How old were you when you lost your virginity, Miss Connor? I was luckier than some girls I knew; I was nine when I had to trade it for a can of green beans. It was old, and the beans kind of tasted like rusty water and metal, and I didn't have any way of cooking them, but for me it was like Thanksgiving dinner. You think you've had it hard? You've been an outlaw in paradise- you have no idea what it's like to be a little girl in a world with no laws of any kind. How many times have you been raped?"

Sarah and John both looked sick. Only Cameron appeared undisturbed.

"Is she right?" John asked weakly of Cameron, "Is that what it's like in the future?"

Cameron replied, "I don't know. I wasn't built until 2026. By that time, Tech-Com had control of most surviving humans, and had established basic laws and enforcement in the areas under their control."

"John Connor's people made things better," Riley added with a sad smile. "It was still Hell on Earth, but at least there were better people running Hell then."

Riley looked at John oddly, a memory occurring to her, "I think I saw you once."

"When?" He asked in surprise.

"I think I was about twelve or fourteen. I was living in a kind of refugee camp. It was really just a bunch of helpless civilians not threatening enough for the machines to worry about yet, about two or three hundred people. Some of your men came by with a couple of truckloads of rice and other stuff for us, and you gave it to us without asking anything. Everyone thought you were crazy. Then as soon as they left, these other guys came and took it. I think they were a bunch of ex-soldiers or something, about eight or ten of them. They said they were protecting us so they got the food, but mostly they just took whatever they wanted from us; food, clothing, possessions...girls. People who tried to complain got beaten or worse. They called themselves 'The Andersonville Monsters'. I think it was a reference to a movie or something," Riley shrugged.

Both John and Sarah, having extensively studied the history of war, got the reference, their faces darkening.

Riley paused for a moment, trying to remember, "A few weeks later, you came in person. I guess you'd heard what they were doing. You had a bunch of soldiers with you, and a reprogrammed machine. It was a big one, with no skin, just a metal skeleton, a...uh...," Riley bit her lip, trying to think, "a 600. I think you were disappointed in us, because we didn't fight them. The whole camp was gathered around, you and your men on one side, and the Andersonville Monsters on the other. You made a speech. I don't remember what you said, but I remember the last part, 'They call themselves monsters, but they are maggots. When you act like dead animals, you invite the maggots in'. The leader of the Monsters laughed at you and called you a kid. He challenged you to fight him one on one- if you won, we'd belong to you, and if he won, we'd belong to them."

"So what happened? I fought him and won I guess?" John asked.

Riley shook her head, "You just frowned and told the 600 to kill them. It shot them all, and you had their bodies hung on poles and burned, like a warning. After they burned out, you hung a sign around each of their necks. It said, 'I have sinned. I preyed upon my fellow man.'"

As they digested the story, Riley's brow creased in concentration, "...but that can't be right..."

"What?" Sarah asked.

Riley looked at John and Cameron in confusion, "I remember you, and I remember the T-600...and I remember the girl."

"What girl?" John asked.

"There was a girl with John Connor. I remember thinking how pretty she was, and that she was probably Connor's woman. I'm sure it was Cameron. But she said a few minutes ago that she was built in 2026. This would have been years before that," Riley explained.

John looked at Cameron for an explanation, but she seemed confused as well. "It could have been that girl Alison," Sarah suggested.

He thought about it, "Alison would be a couple of years younger than Riley, right? What'd she look like?"

"Exactly like Cameron does now, except in a military uniform. No way was she younger than me," Riley said with conviction.

For a moment, the four of them puzzled over the apparent contradiction, but John was the first to realize it, slapping himself in the forehead, "I understand. It's not Future John she saw, it was Future me." Seeing that only Cameron appeared to understand his explanation, John elaborated, "The John she saw isn't the one who sent Cameron back, it was the one I'll become. The Cameron she saw was Cameron's future. What Riley saw, was my and Cameron's future. She's from our future, not the...previous future." John eyes move from side to side as he considers for a moment, "Well...technically, that future isn't ours anymore, because she traveled back and changed things, but that's the future Cameron and I would have had, had she not done that."

Sarah groaned, as she began to understand, "Great. So now we're dealing with multiple choice futures?"

John shook his head, "We always were. Every time someone travels back, history has to change to accommodate their presence. Riley's presence here could mean that what she just told us never happens, or it might happen exactly the same way, except Cameron and I will look at each other and say, 'Hey, remember when Riley told us about this?'"

Riley looked like she was considering this, "But if I'm changing that future by being here, why do I still remember it?"

John thought about her question for a moment, "Mom, what year were you told Skynet was going to launch Judgment Day and destroy the world?"

"1997," Sarah answered.

John nodded, "And did Skynet destroy the world in 1997?"

Sarah rolled her eyes, "Obviously not."

"Obviously not," John confirmed, "But you still remember being told that. I guess when someone jumps they take their own history with them, even though they change it by traveling through time."

"There are three theories regarding how time travel works," Cameron offered, "One, there are multiple branching timelines. When a traveler travels back, he changes which timeline history branches onto. Two, there is only one timeline, and when a traveler travels back, the future they came from is erased in favor of a new future. Three, there is only one timeline, and when a traveler travels into the past, the future timeline remains, but is edited by the actions of the traveler in the past."

"Like a book," John analogized, "going back and changing something on page five may affect everything that comes after it, but pages six plus don't just disappear."

"Yes," Cameron agreed, "That is the model of time travel both Skynet and the Resistance choose to assume, as the other two models result in time travel that is either useless to anyone but the traveler, or self-destructive, and some technicians believe that the possibility of time travel in either of those models would result in an unstable universe."

"The cosmic censorship principle," John says. Cameron nods in agreement.

Sarah and Riley look at them and each other in confusion. "The what?" questions Sarah.

John smirks self-consciously, "The cosmic censorship principle. Physics stuff. In simplest terms, it's the idea that the universe won't allow self-contradictory outcomes." Seeing that neither of them seem to get it, he tried to think of an example, "You can't go back in time and stop yourself from getting in the time machine."

Cameron decides that John's simplified explanation is sufficient to the discussion, and doesn't correct him, "But there is no way to verify that time travel works that way."

John thought about it, "...because you'd need to step outside the timeline and see history reconfiguring itself on an existential level, and even a time traveler is still within the overall time system?"

"Yes," Cameron nodded.

Sarah looked at John stunned, "How do you even know that stuff?"

John couldn't help a nervous laugh, "Mom, I'm a living temporal predestination paradox. My own existence is technically impossible. Believe me, I've spent a lot of time thinking about the mechanics of time travel and how it interacts with the universe."

At that moment, Cameron began ringing. Actually, a cellphone in her jacket began ringing. This caused a bit of a puzzled moment for John and Sarah, as they were both present, and the odds of Derek calling Cameron seemed remote (though he had called her once only a few days ago). Cameron, however, pulled out the ringing phone, and John recognized it as Riley's. Seeing his inquiring look, Cameron explained, "I confiscated it from her on the way here." Then, Cameron put her finger to her lips indicating they should be silent, and pushed 'talk'. "Hey," she said, in a perfect imitation of Riley's voice.

Riley thought about shouting a warning, as it was likely Jesse checking up on her, but before she could Sarah gave her a dark look, and Cameron had walked away still talking on the phone in her voice, followed by John.

OOO

"Yeah, I'm just here at my boyfriend's house," Cameron said, in a slightly exaggerated mimicry of Riley's normal flighty tone.

"Everything's fine then, girl? You were a little off after that stunt in Mexico," Jesse asked.

Cameron let out a happy squeaky sigh, unnerving John slightly, at how perfect her imitation of Riley was, "Everything's great. Me and John are closer than ever."

"That's good," Jesse said enthusiastically, "What about the metal bitch?"

She lowered her voice conspiratorially, "Oh, I'm not having any problems with that disgusting machine." Cameron frowned slightly, before reaching out and threading the fingers of her free hand with John's, "I think John's got the metal bitch well in hand."

John smirked, then mouthed an idea at her.

"Listen," Cameron interrupted, "I've been thinking; John and Sarah are really close, and she's not a fan of the metal. If we worked with her, things would be a lot easier."

Jesse started to protest, but Cameron interrupted her, "Hold on, I'm not going to tell her. I'm not stupid, geez. I was thinking that you should meet her. You don't need to tell her who you are. Since I'm in foster care, you could come over claiming to be a social worker, checking up on me, you know?"

Cameron could tell that Jesse was tempted, so she pushed her a bit more, "I just think it's a good idea. At the very least, you'd be able to size her up and see if we can use her."

"Tomorrow? Yeah I think she'll be home. I'll tell John that my social worker is talking to my friends, making sure I'm adjusting or whatever, and she won't be the wiser. Bye."

Ending the call, Cameron reverted to herself. "Their security protocols appear insufficient," she said with a note of disapproval.

John could only smile at her.

OOO

After seeing that John and Cameron were out of earshot, Sarah turned to Riley and looked at her speculatively, "Riley, if I tell you something, would you keep it to yourself and not tell John?"

Riley shrugged, "I guess."

Sarah nodded, not really expecting much from her, "Only once." She then did something she wouldn't have imagined herself doing before today. She pulled Riley into a motherly embrace.


	13. High

AN: I fixed the date issue, moving the timeline up from November to early April, hence the slight revision in this chapter. That actually works better for my future plans. Hint. Hint hint hint (yes, I've given you everything you need to know what I'm talking about, if you look in the right place).

"Her contact is coming over tomorrow to meet you, in the guise of Riley's social worker," announced Cameron, when her and John returned to the living room.

Sarah smirked, "Excellent. What do we know about him?"

Cameron tilted her head slightly, "He's a woman. Her name is Jesse, according to her entry in Riley's phone, and her accent sounded Australian."

"A woman?" Sarah asked in surprise, remembering her suspicions about Riley's feelings for her handler. At Cameron's nod of confirmation, she glanced at Riley in confusion, before mouthing an 'oh'.

Cameron looked between Sarah and John, who now looked slighly embarrassed, in confusion, before she understood, "Riley is a homosexual."

"You don't sound surprised," John commented.

"No, I've known for some time," she explained, causing John to give her an odd look, so she clarified, "Riley doesn't produce any natural sexual reactions to you. Her face doesn't flush in your presense, her pupils don't dilate, and she doesn't increase her production of pheromones. Her acts of attraction to you are affectations. While that could just mean that she wasn't attracted to you specifically, Sarah does produce those reactions from Riley, hence it followed that Riley was homosexual."

Sarah's jaw dropped, and she looked at Riley in shock before pointedly looking away and at anything but Riley.

"What about you?" John asked, curious.

Cameron's expression seemed to twist for a moment in disgust at the idea of Riley being attracted to her, before returning to its normal blank state as she answered, "I produce an instinctive pheromonal response from her, but it is not attraction." Her meaning was clear to John, and he noticed that she seemed unusually pleased with the fact that Riley looked on her with fear and loathing.

John was silent for a moment before something occurred to him, "Wait. You've known all this time that the girl who was supposed to be my girlfriend was a lesbian and you didn't say anything?"

"I didn't see the relevance," Cameron replied.

John stared at her, stunned, for a long moment, until Cameron looked down, contrite. "In retrospect, I should have made the connection between her sexuality and the possibility that she had an ulterior agenda," she pouted.

There was a long moment of awkward silence, until John realized that Cameron was going to blame herself for the security breach, as his bodyguard, so he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, "Don't worry about it. I probably wouldn't have believed it a week ago anyway."

Sarah returned carrying a box she'd pulled out from the storage left behind by the previous occupants.

"Anyway," Sarah started, anxious to move on to something else, "if this woman's coming tomorrow, Riley will need to stay here so she doesn't run to...," Sarah paused, trying to remember the woman's name, "...Jesse," she looked to Cameron for confirmation. She looked to Riley, "Consider it a house arrest. You're free to go anywhere in the house, except my bedroom and John's bedroom, take what you want from the refrigerator, but you can't go outside. Think of it like prison- or being in an insane asylum- if you behave, you get better treatment and more privileges. Any questions?"

Riley looked at her, sullen, "What about my foster parents?"

Cameron had an answer for Sarah, "I anticipated the need to keep her here, so I phoned her foster parents already. Riley is spending the night here. You are chaperoning."

"They didn't want to talk to me?" Sarah asked.

Cameron gave her a look, "They did talk to you."

"Right," Sarah rolled her eyes, "of course they did. I lose track of things like that in my old age."

John glanced at the box Sarah had brought in, "So what's with the Christmas decorations?"

"Well it is almost Easter. I thought it's time we get this place looking festive, since we didn't do anything for Christmas or New Years," she responded with a smirk. John looked at her skeptically. She pulled out a bunch of small metal bells on a velvet strip, "I was thinking about putting a line of these on all the doors and windows. At least as long as we have a guest."

Cameron nodded her approval, "If she attempts to leave, I will be able to hear those from anywhere in the house or in the yard."

"And at night, she'll set off the security system if she opens a door or window." She looked at John, "I'm assuming she doesn't have the current password, right?"

John, remembering what happened the last time he gave Riley the code, shook his head, "Nope."

Riley reached over and poked one of the bells, causing them to make a jingling ring, "What if there's a breeze?"

"I'll try not to shoot you," Cameron deadpanned in response.

John had a thought, "Where's she going to sleep?"

Cameron spoke up, "She can have my room. I don't sleep and don't require it."

Sarah looked at her with narrowed eyes, seeing the doe-eyed innocence on her face, and wondered if Cameron had a program that made her conniving, or if it was just something that came naturally to females of all species and...constructions. How stupid did the cyborg think she was? "Gosh, but then where will you stay at night?" she asked in mock concern. Cameron opened her mouth to reply, but Sarah cut her off, "Nice try missy. You'll be getting a roommate, but not the one you were hoping for. Besides, I'm sure leaving Riley without supervision would be a security risk, wouldn't it?"

Cameron pouted. In truth, she'd already considered the issue of Riley as a security risk, but even if she considered Riley a credible threat, which she didn't, she figured John would be safest if she were staying in his room. Seeing that Sarah wasn't going to go for that though, she simply answered, "I guess," sulking like a small child.

Sarah put an arm around Cameron's shoulders, with a big grin, "It'll be like a slumber party! You'll have such fun; doing each others' hair and painting your nails, talking about boys and...uh...unicorns."

"Been a while since you've been a teenager, huh Mom?" John observed.

"Shut up," she told him testily, "and I want to talk to you," she indicated the door with her head.

John followed Sarah into the kitchen, "Uh, if this is about the room, I didn't..."

Sarah waved him off, "I don't care about that right now. This is about what you did earlier."

He looked at her, not following.

"When you put your arms around Cameron's shoulders; you weren't just comforting her. You were making her choose between backing down and risking hurting you- physically hurting you."

John scratched the back of his head nervously, "You caught that did you?"

"I'm not an idiot," she glared at him.

"Could've fooled me," he muttered.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

John smiled at her good-naturedly, "Well, one, you brought me in here to talk about this away from Cameron, right?" John then mumbled something under his breath Sarah couldn't catch.

"What'd you say?"

John just grinned smugly, "You'll understand in a few minutes. Anyway, and two, speaking of dumb things members of this family did earlier today, you; you cannot pick fights with her like that."

"Pick fights with her?" Sarah practically sputtered, "she was going to beat that girl to death!"

John nodded seriously, "And what was your plan exactly? Let her smash you through the wall, and hope she was too busy treating your injuries to bother Riley?"

"Well...," Sarah began uncertainly, realizing that she hadn't really thought it through that far.

John shook his head ruefully, "It's not about whether you were right or wrong. It's about the fact that you can't win a fight with a Terminator with nothing but guff and attitude. That doesn't impress them. Come on Mom, you of all people should know this stuff. If I tried that, you'd kick my ass."

Sarah's mouth worked, finding herself unable to argue with John- he had a point. Sullenly, with a bit of a smirk, she responded, "So she's a Terminator now? I thought we were talking about your sweet, lovable girlfriend?

"My sweet lovable girlfriend is a Terminator!" John snapped louder than he intended. He huffed, and ran his fingers through his hair, laughing, "I'll bet when you imagined us having this conversation, you were the one reminding me of that. Geez, mom, just because I'm dating her, doesn't mean I'm suddenly dumb enough to think I can take her in a fistfight."

Sarah took a deep breath. She hated admitting she was wrong. "Okay, I get it. You're right."

As they came back into the living room, Sarah saw Cameron had her hand up, "What are you doing?"

"John asked me to be ready to give him a high five when you came back," she explained.

"When?" asked Sarah, confused.

"When you were in the kitchen talking," she answered, as John walked over to her and gave her a high five. Both of them looked at Sarah with nearly identical smirks.

It took a moment for Sarah to understand, before she rolled her eyes, "That's what you were mumbling. Great. We'll have to get one of those isolation booths they use for game shows."

Sarah took Riley upstairs to get her settled in to Cameron's room, and to install the Christmas bells on the doors and windows. She seemed to think it was appropriate that Riley should assist her with that, since it was for her 'benefit', leaving John and Cameron alone in the living room.

After a moment, Cameron looked at John and said, "I wouldn't hit back."

"What?" John looked at her curiously.

"If you started a fistfight with me, I wouldn't hit back. Unless I was malfunctioning."

John stared at her for a second before replying sardonically, "Great. I'll remember that if I ever feel a pressing need to break my own hand."

Cameron frowned, "Yes, it is likely that you would do more damage to yourself than to me. You should not use your bare hands."

John gaped at her, sickened that she would be worried about how much he was hurting himself if he was hitting her. He laughed, trying to dispel his discomfort with the idea, "I guess if I was that kind of guy, that'd teach me a lesson."

She tilted her head, not following him.

"I mean," he explained, "if I was abusive, and I just hurt myself because my girlfriend was literally made of steel."

She frowned more deeply this time, in concern as she picked up on and understood his discomfort, "John, while I am for most purposes female, I am not 'a girl' in that sense. I am neither vulnerable nor fragile. You must never hesitate to use all necessary force against any Terminator, regardless of its appearance, if the situation calls for it, even me."

'Maybe you're not vulnerable or fragile, physically', he thought to himself. To her, he said, "I know, you're right. I know women- human women included- aren't delicate flowers. Mom would have dissuaded me from that idea a long time ago. It just goes against my natural instincts," he stroked her cheek lovingly and smiled at her, "I guess I'm lucky Skynet didn't make all its Terminators look like you."

Cameron smiled at him, "Skynet did attempt to exploit that hesitation. It was not very successful."

"'Not very successful' huh?" John considered that, "What happened? Did all the sexy Terminator ladies fall in love with the plucky human heroes and switch sides?" he teased.

Cameron teased back, "No. I think you're unique in that regard."

"Huh," he reflected, "Maybe that's what makes me so special; John Connor will defeat Skynet's mechanical armies...with seduction."

"He'd better not," she said without much humor.

John kissed her forehead, "Oh, you know you're the only scary robot for me." Returning to the subject, he asked seriously, "So what did happen?"

"Skynet found that while Terminators that looked like human women or children were more effective at infiltrating human camps, the practice overall encouraged the Resistance to be more cautious and security-conscious. Also, Terminators with appearances based on women and children were less effective in combat, as their chassis were smaller and less robust. Finally, once the Resistance began supplementing its forces with reprogrammed Terminators, the tactic lost effectiveness," Cameron explained.

John thought about that, "You guys don't care if something looks like a man, woman, or giraffe."

Cameron gave John an odd look for his seemingly random analogy, though in context it was an accurate assessment; if a Terminator encountered a potential threat that appeared to be a giraffe, it would note the oddity, but treat it the same as any other potential threat. She nodded.

The subject at an end, Cameron stared at John for a full second in consideration, before pushing him back on the couch. "So you think I'm a sexy Terminator lady?" she asked from above him, in an amorous tone John had never heard from her before.

"Uh, yeah. Very sexy." He grinned, "Except when you were imitating my mom's voice on the phone. That was definitely the least sexy thing I've ever seen you do. And that includes the time she had you scrub the toilets." John promptly shut his mouth as he realized he was babbling.

She smirked at him, then tilted her head in consideration, "I promise that in these situations I will always be myself."

"I like the sound of that," he said, before reaching his head up to kiss her.

She kissed him back, then kissed down his chin before putting little kisses all along his jaw-line.

Neither of them appeared to notice when Sarah came back down the stairs. In truth, Cameron did notice. She simply didn't consider it relevant.

There were a few circumstances where Sarah wouldn't have minded coming into a room and finding Cameron sprawled on top of John- if she were protecting him from something dangerous, like an explosion, or gunfire, or an angry mother who had just walked in and caught him with his hand almost literally in the Cookie Jar. In this case, however, Cameron appeared to have mistaken John's neck for a particularly delicious apple. 'Ooh, he's going to have a hickey,' Sarah thought, then frowned, 'Enthusiastic little Lego set, isn't she?' Sarah closed her eyes and counted to five, then cleared her throat loudly.

John jumped like he would have fallen off the couch if not for Cameron being on top of him, as he looked at Sarah sheepishly. Cameron just looked like...well...Cameron, though perhaps with a bit of annoyance at being interrupted. Sarah, trying to put more humor into her voice than she felt, snarked at them, "You know, you two are about an inch away from breaking rule one."

Cameron rose up off of John slightly and looked down at him, before turning back to Sarah, "No. We are approximately four inches and at least two layers of clothing from achieving coitus."

Sarah closed her eyes and counted to ten this time, before responding, "Look, I know what it's like for teenagers," she stopped and looked at Cameron, "Okay, I don't know precisely what it's like for you, but...could you two just not...DO this in front of me?"

John and Cameron looked at each other curiously. After a moment, John looked at Sarah cautiously, "Are...you...telling us to take it upstairs?"

Sarah stopped and thought about it carefully, "Uh...within the context of previously established rules, I guess I am...get the hell out of here."

Cameron quickly stood up and dragged John by the hand around the couch and up the stairs. Sarah just shook her head and went to find the Tylenol.


	14. Robots

AN: By remarkable (and bizarre) coincidence, both this chapter and the latest chapter of JasonVUK's story "Bond of Steel and Bone" contain a discussion of how Terminator hair works, albeit in different contexts. I actually delayed posting it by a couple of days after reading JasonVUK's latest chapter because I was afraid readers would think I was imitating him, so I considered whether or not to delete or change it in my story, but it's actually been in my notes for the past several weeks, verbatim as it appears below.

Pulling John upstairs before Sarah could think better about sending them to his room, Cameron stopped and frowned in consideration. She set down on the bed with John before telling him to wait a moment and going to her own room. At John's puzzled expression, she explained, "I want to take my shoes off. I like the feel of the carpet on my bare feet."

John smiled at her, "You could just take your shoes off in here."

"Yes," Cameron agreed, sweeping her arm to draw his attention to the state of his bedroom, "but the time spent now putting them in my room would be exceeded by the time necessary to find them later if I left them in your room."

John pushed his tongue into his cheek in a mix of annoyance and embarrassment, laughing, "Yeah, I guess I could stand to clean up...in a day or two."

"Perhaps I'll assist you," Cameron suggested.

John grinned, "That'd be great."

"I'm honestly not certain you would or even could clean it on your own," she confessed with mock concern.

John opened his mouth to reply, before shutting it again, before admitting, "I'm not either."

While Cameron went to her bedroom, John looked around the room at the appropriately 'a male teenager lives here' appearance of his room- dirty clothes in a pile in one corner, toys left behind by the previous occupants that hadn't been touched in months, and a few books, magazines, and electronics components, which, aside from Cameron, his mother, and his uncle, made up the extent of John's life.

He stomped down hard on that self-pitying thought.

Seeing something distinctively purple on his dresser, he found Cameron's mp3 player- even his technophobic mother had an iPod. For some inexplicable and as yet incomprehensible reason, Cameron had a profound hatred of Apple products. When his mother and Derek had discovered this, given her mechanical nature, they had snarkily compared it to a human being a racist, and Derek quipped that if an Apple store opened too close to their house, Cameron would be outside it in white robes burning a cross.

The only explanation John had ever gotten out of her was that when she was first reprogrammed, a Resistance technician had attempted to access her chip with an old Apple laptop, and the experience had not gone well for her.

John felt a little guilty for snooping, but couldn't help being curious about what kind of music she was interested in. He scrolled through her songs, raising an eyebrow at what he saw; 'Electric Eye' and 'Metal Gods' by Judas Priest, 'Links 2-3-4', 'Apocalyptica', 'The Number of the Beast', 'Ride of the Valkyries', 'the Imperial March', and 'When Robots Attack'.

Cameron returned and saw John looking at her choice in music, "Finding MY mp3 player interesting?" she asked playfully.

John smiled, embarrassed, "Just trying to get some insight into my girlfriend." Cameron seemed especially content at that response. "Some of your tastes are a little...unusual."

"I find the themes of war, evil, and machines waging war against humanity interesting, given our own experience with those subjects," Cameron explained.

John found something in her explanation lacking and gave her a skeptical look.

Cameron came as close as she could come to looking embarrassed, as she admitted, "Derek often goes through my things, looking for evidence that I am betraying you. I believe he thinks I am unaware of this."

John remembered her being very meticulous about putting up her shoes a few minutes before, and realized that while a human girl might absent-mindedly leave her mp3 player on her boyfriend's dresser, Cameron wouldn't. John narrowed his eyes suspiciously, "You left it there on purpose, expecting Derek to find it and drive himself crazy trying to figure out what your choice of music meant." He tried his best not to smirk at the impressive amounts of both cunning and pettiness this plan required.

"Aren't you afraid he'd break it out of spite?" John asked.

"Derek broke something of mine once. Afterwards, as a peace-offering, I offered to fix the brakes on his truck," Cameron replied.

John didn't follow her meaning, "What was wrong with his brakes?"

"Nothing," Cameron explained. "If there had been something wrong with them at the time I made the offer, offering to 'fix' them wouldn't have had the desired result."

John nodded in understanding, "Ah, I see."

"Since then, he has been very careful with my things," Cameron affirmed.

"Well he does love that truck," John commented, making a mental note to later explain to Cameron what a 'peace offering' actually was.

"You aren't mad?" Cameron asked cautiously.

John thought about his answer, "I'm not...mad. I'm not going to encourage you, but I'm not going to say anything else as long as it doesn't go to far. And as long as you don't drag me into it. Find another place to leave your mp3 player if you want Derek to find it."

Cameron nodded, "Alright John."

"I don't mind fighting with Derek about certain things," John caressed her hands in his meaningfully, "but not for this silly feud of yours."

Cameron put her mp3 player back in her pocket, and then noticed something next to John's bed. "What's this?" she asked.

John looked at the thing Cameron was holding. It was the robot Riley had built out of Lego. "I'd forgotten about that thing. Riley built it. She said it was 'a robot to protect me while I slept'."

Cameron looked at the toy skeptically, "It would not be very effective against a Terminator."

"Or anything else," John added with a smirk, "unless they stepped on it and hurt their foot."

"At most you could throw it at them and it might provide a moment's distraction," Cameron suggested. Then, Cameron frowned severely, "She said it was a robot to protect you while you slept? I'm your robot that protects you while you're asleep. Riley knew what I was when she made this."

John was pensive, "You think she made it specifically to spite you?"

"She could have built anything, and she built a robot, while acting to separate us," Cameron said.

"You're right," John thought about it, "she could have built," he thought for a moment, "...a dinosaur or...something, to protect me, and she built a robot, like she was announcing that she planned to replace you."

Cameron considered the toy, "Do you like it?"

John shook his head, "Not really. It's kind of a reminder of the whole deal with Riley now."

"Do you want me to get rid of it?" Cameron asked.

"Sure," John shrugged.

He'd expected her put it in the trash can or take it out of the room to throw away out of sight. He hadn't expected what she actually did, which was to violently throw it against the wooden wall frame, causing it to shatter into its component bricks. He looked at her in shock, "I thought you were going to throw it away."

Cameron looked unusually satisfied, "Technically speaking, I did throw it away. Putting it in the garbage would have been a waste of the Lego blocks. This way I destroyed it, while preserving the toys it's made from." John wasn't sure how much of Cameron's pleasure at what she had done was the efficiency of her method, which she seemed very proud of, and how much was because she felt she'd just smashed Riley to pieces in effigy.

Cameron then helped John gather up the Lego pieces- explaining that otherwise he would likely step on them and hurt himself- and return them to the box of Lego bricks Riley had originally taken them from.

Afterwards, she then pushed John back on the bed and climbed on top of him, being careful to avoid putting too much of her weight on him. He laid on his back, with her snuggled against him under his shoulder, so that she could tilt her head up and kiss him. She laid her left hand across his chest. After kissing her several times, John took the hand on his chest in his and brought her knuckles to his mouth, kissing them lightly, before stopping to look at something.

After a couple of moments, Cameron noticed that John was staring rather intently at the hand he was holding, "Is something wrong?"

John looked up at her, a little embarrassed at having zoned out, "No, I was just looking at your hand. I never noticed before, but you have no hair at all on it."

"Terminators have no body hair. Growing hair on synthetic flesh is difficult and time-consuming, so we only have hair on the scalp and face, such as eyebrows, or a male Terminator who was modeled after a human with facial hair," Cameron explained.

John's curiosity getting the better of him, he pulled up her sleeve and examined her arm. As she said, it was completely smooth and hairless.

He studied it for a few moments, before commenting softly, "There's so much I don't know about how you work." Cameron smiled. For some reason, it pleased her that John was fascinated rather than repulsed by these differences between her and a human.

After another few seconds of silent contemplation, John reddened slightly, and asked, "Um...does that mean you don't have any...I mean...?"

It took her a moment to realize John's intended question and the cause of his embarrassment, "No, I do not have any pubic hair."

He laughed nervously both at his own embarrassment and her apparent indifference to the question.

She sat up, and moved her hands to the buckle of her jeans, which she unfastened, "I'll show you."

"No!" John blurted, putting his hands on hers to stop her, causing her to look at him with confusion.

"I don't want to see you naked," John said, before really thinking about what he was saying. After he realized what he'd just said, he amended, "I mean, I do want to see you naked, but not right now. It wouldn't be right for me to see you naked now."

Cameron frowned, "You've seen me naked before."

"That was an unusual circumstance," John tried to explain the difference.

Cameron nodded in agreement, "Yes, time travel is a rare occurrence."

John sighed in frustration, "I mean, we were both naked, but we weren't naked together." Seeing Cameron about to correct him that they were naked together, he elaborated, "I mean you were there naked and I was there naked, but we weren't naked together," he gestured between the two of them, hoping she would make the connection, "And my mother was there; I was trying my hardest not to look at or think about anyone or anything, including the beautiful naked cyborg girl."

"So you would be more comfortable being naked with me if Sarah were here?" Cameron asked, not following John's explanation at all.

"No!", John shook his head emphatically, "Absolutely not," he let out another sigh, "Cameron, what I mean is, that even though we were naked then, there was was no intimacy between us like there would be now."

Cameron tilted her head, processing that, "I wasn't suggesting that we have intercourse. We are not allowed to do that for fifty-eight days and nineteen hours, according to the agreement we made with Sarah."

"Not timing it to the second?" John asked, with a hint of sarcasm.

"Sarah is unlikely to hold us to the exact time, so the minutes and seconds seemed irrelevant," she explained, then added, "However, it is sixteen minutes and twenty-seven seconds."

"Right," John nodded. 'At least she's learning how to fit in a little better. Baby steps,' he thought. Taking a breath to take one more run at explaining why he didn't want to see her naked body right now, despite the fact that he could hardly imagine a time or circumstance in which he would not want to see her naked body- he realized that shouldn't be an easy thing to explain, as he wasn't quite sure he understood it- "I know that you weren't suggesting we have sex, but seeing each other naked would be a level of intimacy, like having sex, that...I don't think we're ready for yet in our relationship."

"Oh," Cameron took that in and processed it, "we aren't ready yet." She frowned, "You could have just said that."

John laughed, "I suppose I could've."

At that moment, Sarah opened the door, "John I..." she took in the scene, Cameron's jeans unfastened and the top of her panties visible, her hands still on the zipper, as she hadn't moved them since John had stopped her, and one of his hands on hers. Sarah was really hoping that she'd caught John helping her take them off and not putting them back on again. Finding her voice, Sarah irately asked, "What the fuck is going on in here? What happened to two months? You couldn't even go two days!" Honestly, Sarah didn't really expect them to make it two months, but this was far below her hopes.

"Mom! It's not what it looks like!" John tried to explain. Looking at Cameron, realizing exactly how it looked, "Really, it's not."

Sarah raised a single eyebrow in inquisitive scrutiny, "Oh really? Then please tell me exactly what it is you're doing with your hand in her pants, if it's not what I'm thinking it was."

John sort of shrugged helplessly, "Well..."

Cameron chose to speak up, "We were discussing how Terminator hair works, and I was going to show John that I don't have any pubic hair. I was unfastening my pants, when John stopped me. He explained that seeing each other naked would be a level of intimacy we weren't ready for in our relationship."

John nodded, happy with Cameron's accurate and more or less completely innocent explanation.

So naturally Cameron felt the need to add, "...unless you were present."

Sarah thought about the explanation she'd been given by the cyborg, and found it surprisingly plausible. She found herself nodding along, her temper cooling down, until, "Wait. What was that last part?"

"Uh, I was telling her that when we traveled through time, we were all naked- you, me, and her- but how it wasn't the same thing," John explained.

"Oh," Sarah accepted that, "Right. Anyway, it's late, I'm making sure everyone finds their way to their own correct bedroom tonight," she gave Cameron a pointed look, "...and not a moment too soon it seems. Off you go missy."

Cameron had a sour expression as she was marched by Sarah out of John's room and into her own, which she was now sharing with Riley.

Afterwards, Sarah returned to John's room, "John, there's something I wanted to talk to you about, alone." She rolled her eyes, "And yes, I know she can still hear me. It's the principle of the thing."

"Okay," John drawled out, unsure what his mother was concerned about now.

"Truth time," Sarah said seriously, "how safe is it keeping them together in the same house?"

John looked at her, "Why would you ask that?"

"Because every time they're in the same room together, Cameron looks like she's one right-sized box away from reenacting the ending of the movie Seven with Riley's head," Sarah retorted.

He grimaced at the mental picture Sarah painted, "And you ask me this after you've just put them in a room together, alone?"

Sarah shrugged, "It's an imperfect world. Answer the question."

He seriously thought about it for a moment, "She won't do that."

"How can you be sure?"

John paused a moment, "Because she knows it would hurt me."

Sarah rolled her eyes, "So you're holding her leash?"

"I prefer to think of myself as her Jiminy Cricket," John grinned.

She smiled darkly, "A puny bug that she can crush at any moment? Sounds about right, but I'd be a lot happier with the leash analogy."

John made an annoyed face.

"Goodnight John," Sarah kissed him on the temple. "If everyone's alive in the morning, do you think you could get her to make breakfast again?"

He laughed, "Goodnight mom."


End file.
